Okay, here's some random info of the day!

I'm still shredding paper this month and... I just found the longest paper (it's like 8 A4 papers wide x 3 A4 papers high) in my pile. It might sound petty to you but I'm very excited! I'm going to cut it wide-wise because who doesn't want to shred a paper that long??? What, it's just me??? XD

Don't go printing out my posts in colour and bring it up on a meeting as an attempt to shame me. -Me, 2019

I'm teaching?

I'm healing?

I'm revamping?

This described my sister. Gosh. I'm SO going to miss her!!! (Although it's only for a year!)

She is on the path towards her ambition. The path I didn't choose to take.

I warned her to tweet me or e-mail me every week... XD (I'm a total Twitter addict). I don't see the point of checking my cell phone for text messages anymore because the screen is broken... & I don't have the "resource" to get a new one. Haha. Do you think my coursemates & future coursemates mind if I ask them to e-mail me if they want to reach me instead of texting me? Selfish me.

*Sigh~ The "bright" side of technology & internet.*

*Oh, yeah. Before anyone starts.. Weekend phone calls (from my sister) would be nice too. If only it's not that expensive. XD*


p/s: This is a repost of an entry from June 2010. The original post was deleted because it was generating unhealthy traffic *& I'm kind of annoyed* (why would someone who googled "goodbye" to some microblog site had to read a blog post on someone saying goodbye to her sister who further her studies somewhere is beyond me.. XD)

Today, my brother returned home and told us (my sister and me) that he failed his BM paper (school exam). He said he screwed up his Paper 2 - there were questions he didn't understand so he answered wrongly.

After he told that to us I recalled an event I had in Primary 4. I never failed any paper since Primary 1 so when one day, my maths teacher returned our math test, I was surprised to be called to the teacher's table in the front of the class. I got a 9. It was so shocking and embarrassing. It appeared that I left so many questions unanswered. I don't remember why I didn't answer them.

Being one who always scored well in Maths (that time lah), it was a humiliating moment. I didn't answer anyone who asked what my marks were. Maybe I did tell someone in the end but... wow. It took a lot of courage (for me) to "pretend" that I don't care. I think I even laughed it off saying "Oh.. I did some mistakes. It's 9. I forgot to answer at the back of the paper."

:)

Just some random story of my past. But looking at the story from my current way of thinking... It told me that "Anything can happen." I must always be aware of my surroundings. Always observe. Always pay attention. I can do well in Maths in the past, I can do it again in university.

And the most important thing I learnt now from the story : Failure is not something to be ashamed of. I can learn more from failure than success. To do that I have to acknowledge the failure to myself.

I'm sorry if you think otherwise. Maybe... you're not there yet.

Totally O/T: I just saw Mamma Mia movie last Sunday, & I was surprised by Colin Firth's voice! Not bad for someone who isn't a singer by career. My image of him in mind is still Mr Darcy though.. & seeing 'Mr Darcy' sing felt like a fairytale. I love seeing actors I like sing.
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I had a really weird week.

Okay. The week hasn't end yet but now I tend to see my class days as weekdays while class-free days as weekends (including Thursday =P).

Monday, 8am-4pm. Two classes with a 'class' gap ("Language and Communication"'s lectures ended early this semester!) between those two classes.
Tuesday, day started late because the lecturer for morning's class was away, 11am-4pm. Plus another 6pm-8pm session at my music school. They always have these music theory trial exams before the real exam day which I have to attend to get good marks (I'm okay with this).
Wednesday, almost like Tuesday. First lab class was cancelled this week. Second lab class started at 10am (+ replacement class for last 2 weeks) - 1.5 hour. Then another lab class at 4pm. French class (replacement class for today's holiday) at 5.30-8.30pm.

Crazy hours. Added with these facts, it gets crazier : I rarely eat at campus (so I always miss lunch BUT I drink a lot, okay. I have to keep myself hydrated) & I don't take the university bus. I always walk. It's very therapeutic to me (although my legs think otherwise =P).


Anyway... I'm not blogging about that today. It's just that I realised how I've gotten a bit weird (or weirder, if you prefer that) since mid-semester break ended. It happened in those 3 days I just described.

It's like I've become happier... which is hard to believe because I have so many assignments/projects to be done, last minute-ly again. So the only plausible explanation would be I've totally lost my sanity it. Instead of slowing down, I'm taking the "shutting off" approach to deal with the stress. Yikes.

I think I've shut off a part of my senses. I feel like talking all the time. I dared to answer my lecturer's question, got it wrong & I felt okay. I mean, I didn't feel embarrassed or something like that. I don't even care if I was right or not before answering, I just feel like speaking out whatever's in my mind at that moment. Another thing. I had three surprise quizzes this week, & of course I didn't study or revise anything at all, but I could still smile after I handed in my incomplete answer sheets. I was thinking "Why bother if I couldn't answer? Just focus on what I can answer... but don't repeat the same mistake in the future. Must study."...

Then... I [could] find joy in every little thing I see around me. Hmmm. I can't believe I just said that. As much as I find that's too melodramatic... it's true! I didn't know why everything seemed funny during those three days. I laughed or smiled for no reason. I also smiled to random people including strangers. I'm pretty sure I'd shut off the "If x happens, do y" part in my brain.

I stopped caring for a while what others think or say. I just want to do what I think is right.


I can actually love being this way.
:)

Before "I turned 21" this year, I was 12 once…

& then there’s one random note, which is true!  I was lucky to know them!

I didn’t smile much when I was little too which is evident from these photos…

Okay, last one… the weird ones.
Joel’s message wasn’t ‘original’. I suspect he’s writing the monkey-kangaroo-zoo birthday song. Dianne wrote me a “Happy New Year” message (that’s 3 months away!).

Can you guess which birthday wish is my favourite?
(Favourite as in I-can’t-believe-that-person-wrote-that! & no it’s not E.E.’s)
=P

Post: March 3rd, 2009.

Erm. It's March. I will start my driving classes this month.

Post: March 7th, 2009.

A tiring day of doing nothing but sitting and listening.

Post: March 11th, 2009.

I haven't read my KPP book.

What happened to my driving lessons?

I was given 1 week to read the KPP book. I took 2 weeks to start reading it. Then it dragged to another week because I was too sad to study the road signs and rules. Last Monday, the driving tutor called and I (kind of) panicked, and said (impulsively) I'll take the 1st Test (the computer test) this Saturday.

Which is today.

But... Yokatta!!!!!!!!

Well, I "crammed" the days between Monday and Saturday... and I scored 1 point more than the pass score (42/50). I almost can't believe it because I didn't put much effort. Forty three?! The effort and result do not seem to add up.

Anyway. I can't go to piano class tomorrow because the tutor suggested to me to do the "bengkel" class in which I agreed. Oops. Will do that next week, not tomorrow.

Oh, yeah. Last week, Ms Chong asked me if I did my practice.. I was playing the song I said too cheery for me to play. I answered yes because I did practised that song a day earlier, when my mum was watching a show I hate in the night. *sigh*

I really need to set my priorities correctly.

But, the thing is...
I'll just say this shamelessly. I know I'm a smart person but I'm also very lazy. It's always 0 or 100 for me. If I started on a project early I could finish it faster than anyone else but when I did it last minute... I may be the last person to hand it in.

*Stupid, stupid bad habits*

That's one more thing to change about myself.

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I finished "Emma" a few days ago. Finally. I started on Feb 23rd... and it took me one month to finish reading it. Luckily I don't hate Emma. I'm neutral to the title character. Till the end, I'm still loving Mr Knightley!

But...
I'm sorry to say this but the story didn't really work for me. I mean, I don't find it as romantic as "Pride and Prejudice", not that exciting like "Northanger Abbey" either... I even seem to prefer "Sense and Sensibility" to this...

Well. Not all people like the same thing. People look for different things in books.

I haven't read all Jane Austen books yet, but "Pride and Prejudice" is still my favourite, followed by "Northanger Abbey", "Sense and Sensibility" and "Emma".

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Erm... One more thing.

Have I said it here that I'm a big fan of "Camp Rock"? (To myself: How old are you anyway?) I already tried to avoid liking anything new... but I can't prevent myself from liking Camp Rock, Demi Lovato... and Joe Jonas...

If you look at my last.fm profile, Jonas Brothers has taken over NEWS in my "Top Artists" chart!

Which may explain why I wasn't bothered (why should I be?) at all when Mel-chan fell in love with Yamapi. *Sorry, Mel! I have to say that here.*

Haha.

This is only a fever/crush or.. something. It will go away, eventually. I hope. Or not... I think my NEWS fever will be back because they are going to have a new single this month! Koi no ABO! What a title! But I can't wait, anyway!


Obviously someone is in a good mood today. 

Stolen from phil_knall who stole this from elin.
Found this. Thought I'll try it too with my mp3 player.
First Try.


Second Try. Shuffle mode (which was why some songs were repeated.

Mel-chan said to me...

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New Living Translation)      Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.

I like seeing Jun-pyo being afraid of bugs (cockroach!). I dread them too.

I haven't read my KPP book.

It happened so fast. But it was the most suitable and flexible job I can ever get. It's near the place my dad works. I only work till afternoon or when needed. Seem reasonable wages.

Initially, I thought this was my opportunity to satisfy my lacking of [working] experiences and financial source(s). I never thought it's going to satisfy the lacking of my spiritual needs too. Which... I realised that me being there is so out of place.

I've only started this week. Still too early to predict what will become of me (there) in the future...

--------------------------------
Oh yeah. Just taken this quiz, I'm slightly surprised that I wasn't that bookworm but - oh well - it does hold some truth there...

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Literate Good Citizen   You read to inform or entertain yourself, but you're not nerdy about it. You've read most major classics (in school) and you have a favorite genre or two.
Dedicated Reader
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Book Snob
Fad Reader
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I'll leave the title that way.
You ran out of ideas, huh?

I think I should give some account of what happened on the day we flew back to Sabah.

The last place we visited was the Muzium Negara. Tired by the prices offered by tout(s) taxi drivers, we used a different transport (my 1st time! Sugoi! lol) to reach KL Sentral, and find a taxi (by coupon) there.

Maybe because of the limited time left or etc... I found that the trip to Muzium Negara quite disappointing. I don't have any expectations at first and still I kind of didn't enjoy it. In the end it was like, "That's it?"

Hmmm... But I did enjoy going to the Zoo Negara and KLCC's Aquaria.. So that kind of made up for the disappointment...

Anyway... At the airport...
I had a stupid fight with my siblings that I put on a long face all the way to Sabah. Usually, the immigration officers (is that what they call it?) I see have a longer face [never met a cheerful one] than mine that day... Stupid me! I forgot about the digital camera in my pocket... and "beep!" the machine went... they had to check me for fear of bringing anything murderous. At the same time I was staring at them murderously. I really didn't have the mood to deal with them. I don't like the feeling of being accused of something wrongful that I didn't do and yet I can't shout back to them to defend myself. The whole night waiting for our flight had me thinking of not getting on an airplane again in the near future.

While waiting, I finished reading "Mr Darcy's Diary". I broke my one-book rule that I stopped reading "Doctor Thorne" for a while to make way for this book. To be frank, I didn't really enjoy it... other than the scenes from "Pride and Prejudice", Mr Darcy's other diary entries were like... unnecessary off-topic scenes (made up this term). I only look at it as "another fan-fiction" based on P&P.

Back in Sabah... we managed to get home early and prepared ourselves for church. Then, came the funny/odd part. We were lacking so much sleep that we kept dozing off during the church sermon. That's just how exhausted we were. We left church early and cancelled our piano classes that morning.

In the evening, I felt very happy because finally could catch one of my favourite programme on TV. (I can't believe that the hotel we were staying at don't have the 8TV channel!)

Kudos: Emoticons(Kaoni) from here. Also from here and here. Emoticons removed

I finished reading "Pride and Prejudice" a few weeks ago. When I was going to return it to the library, I hesitated at the very last minute. Eventually, I re-borrow and now I'm re-reading it. I read an abridged version before (couldn't find the original/unabridged version in my school library) but didn't think much about it. After reading the real thing, I fell in love with that book! I was doubtful about reading Jane Austen books (everyone has different tastes) after I started on "Sense and Sensibility" and stopped reading half-way. Maybe it's because I'm not familiar to Jane Austen's style of writing... Anyways, I'm going to give it a try again soon.

I also re-read "Jane Eyre". The feelings I get are different from my form 5 days. I was able to see it from a different angle. This time, it's the religion issue that appeals the most to me. Before (form 5), I was kind of dissapointed that Jane left Mr. Rochester after it was discovered that he was going to marry her while his [crazy] wife still alive. My limited understanding in english language (especially the old english used in Jane Eyre) must had prevented my mind from imagining some scenes in the book. Now, having re-reading it, I think Jane made the right decision. I must had been distracted by Mr. Rochester's charms.. but he can't make me think otherwise this time. He is in the wrong and he almost made Jane sin too. Jane Eyre is a really remarkable character that I can't help admiring her more.

It's so hard to find MONK novels in Sabah. So far, I only have two in my collection. I just finished "Mr.Monk in Outer Space" and I want to say how adorably annoying Adrian Monk is in the the first half of the book. I pity his agoraphobic brother very much. He "improves" later in the second half though.

A few days ago, I had a music theory trial exam. "What is that?", you asked? I guess my music school is kind of "obssessed" by perfect marks. So they made me come and sit for 2 hours doing similar & past-years questions of music theory (grade one). Hmmm. As this is my first time, I thought I came at the wrong day. Haha. But, actually I came in too early. There's only 6 or 7 others exam-takers. I was very nervous before because I thought that place would be filled with people... kids.. Imagine me the only adult student.. taking grade one exam.. Why did I let myself into this awkward situation? Anyway. I'm thinking of a disguise because my exam is going to be held at UMS. I don't want to stumble on anyone I know (except Mel-chan, of course) there! Hmmm.

Hana Kimi's SP drama was SO funny! I can't stop laughing seeing Nakatsu at the beginning. Sano seem to have more monologue scenes (did he have any in the drama? I don't remember...).. This SP also seems to answer this questions: How and when Sano fell in love with Mizuki? What were Kagurazaka feelings after the kiss with Sano? (That's funny and so unlike Kagurazaka)..etc. There were also more "elaborated" stories for the side characters... Mizuki's best friend's, Julie, sudden appearance was kind of a repetition and combination of Mizuki's family coming to visit her. Hibari Four downgraded to Hibari Three... and then back to Four in the end... Also there's more erm.. gay-ish thing going on in the SP. Nakao kissing Nanba-senpai. Kagurazaka making lunch for Sano... hmmm. I thought Yuujiro was supposed to be a female dog (that's why it doesn't like men)? Here, he was "married" to Nakatsu's family dog and even had (I assume) several Yuujiro Jrs... I like seeing Sano and Nakatsu being so friendly to each other. Maybe I'll talk about this later after I re-watch it. I really miss Sano's old hairstyle.

My latest shopping bag from Yesasia included NEWS "Happy Birthday" singles, a KUROSAGI manga and a postcard book of "I left my heart in Aegean Sea"... Wait.. postcard book? *smiles sheepishly* I thought I was going to get the book version. I never knew there was a postcard book version. Nevertheless, I'm going to cherish it just as much as I'll cherish the book if I ever own the book. --// By the way, the author has a new site... //-- The "Happy Birthday" singles smelt like bubble gum... you must take this statement positively because it's in a neutral tone. And what the heck am I doing with a KUROSAGI manga? I don't read and talk japanese! The weird thing is... I didn't read chinese 5 years ago either. How did it happen? A couple years ago, I read 還珠格格 3 - 天上人間 and cried buckets. Weird, isn't it? I was hoping that the same thing will happen to my KUROSAGI manga(s).. chotto.. manga...s?

Oh, Yes. I already owned eight of them. Eight of manga(s) in which I can't read a thing. Crazy indeed. What had induced me to do such a thing? My brain blames my compulsive feelings. My heart blames my over-confidence of learning a new language. At one point in the past, realising how much I adore KUROSAGI's live-action and wanting to see more Kurosaki X Tsurara moments, I must have the original ones and read it in Japanese.



~Ah. Glad to get all that out.~


Another thing that made me smile.

So far I only found a malay link.
I just hope the malaysian smokers won't be this smart. "Menegakkan benang yang basah!"

People who smoke are walking murderers.

My on-my-right smoking neighbour had finally moved out. What's left is the on-my-left neighbour. Such good days... Spraying my dettol disinfectant or the mosquito repellant (the point is to let them hear the spraying...) and hoping hopelessly that they die stop smoking...

I need to find a new way to torture annoy my smoking neighbours.

I feel really stupid about myself. My last post was in early January and since then there were no more new ones. I tried and want to find something to talk about in my blog but can't seem to find one. I'm not going to school anymore, so I don't have anything exciting happening in my life now.

But, today my cat died. I feel compelled to write something where I-don't-know-who will 'know'. If I write in my diary (speaking of diary, I haven't thank that someone who gave me a diary as a present last Christmas... He'll be leaving for Australia this Saturday. Going to send him a thank-you e-mail later), no one will know. So I chose my blog instead. And with this are some stories from last year.

Random #1-1 - Death
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Excerpt

I adore cats. The cats I have at home are cats that come to our house themselves. At first it was only 'feed them because they look hungry'... But later on as they frequent our house, we started giving names to them and they started living in with us. Through these few years, I've already experienced deaths of my cats many times. Cried many times. Kept saying "Why didn't I treated it better?"...

I also came to know the feeling "Oh, no! He/She's dying." It's when I see the cat lying almost life-lessly, he/she doesn't respond much to me when I touch him/her... I'll cry during his/her last moments... It's really a melancholic and saddening moment...

I wasn't particularly close to the cat that died today (It has a name but I won't use it for now), but I still can feel its loss. I feel the lump in my throat. But I'm not crying. Not this time. Or maybe, not today. I'll see more in my future, I should start learning how to cope with it now.

There might be people who wonder why death of a non-human could affect a human so much (My younger brother cried, no..., sobbed, because he saw the cat died during her last moments. He refused to go to school.) I guess, maybe it has something to do with familiarity. Something you already get used to see, touch, hear etc everyday suddenly is not there anymore. In short, we feel their absence because they were present in our life.

End of cat story.

Last year, before STPM examination started in Nov 13...
It was Sunday. We just returned from church. My dad received a phone call from my aunt in Kota Belud. She told my dad that grandma had suddenly wished to see us at the kampong. I was washing the dishes when my dad told us about it. I stopped doing what I was doing and had negative thoughts in mind. When we finally reach kampong, my grandma was resting on the sofa. She was very happy to see us. I listened carefully to what she said. But I can't remember it much now. In mixed malay and dusun, she told me not to cry if she's gone because she'll lead a good life in heaven. I think she said that because she saw my eyes brimmed with tears. I was struggling not to shed tears because I know I won't stop when they started rolling out.

*speechless*

I'm glad that she's still alive now. I love her.


Random #1-2 - Music
Had you ever encountered a song or instrumental piece that move you to tears or affect you emotionally in another way?

I did, once. It was 海底兩萬米 (Hai Di Liang Wan Mi, 20,000 miles under the sea) by 李芳 Li Fang, an insert song for "Love of the Aegean Sea". It's during my black years (2004/2005). That day, my Physics teacher, Mr. Ooi returned our test (or exam?) papers. I knew I flunk again. But afterwards, he asked me what's wrong in a concerned way. I was moved when he asked. Then back home, when I was doing my homework and listening to "Love of the Aegean Sea" OST, I cried when it reached 海底兩萬米. Well, the lyric didn't have anything to do with me at that time but it was the music that caused me to shed tears.

Another story: Last year, my MUET teacher gave us an assignment. She wanted us to find english songs with lyric to be shared in the class. Funnily, almost every group chose a melancholic, blues kind of song except my group, of course. I chose "Happy" by Alexia. I think it was the second group's song. I can't remember what they picked. But the song sure affected our teacher, Miss Florence, very much. In the end of the song, she explained that she recalled about her mother when she listen to the lyric. Ah.Now I suddenly really want to know what was that song. Another friend of mine, Helen (which was in my group that day) also cried when she listened to Vitamin C's "Graduation (Friends Forever)"... She said she was thinking about us after we left the school, after we 'graduated' what we'll be doing, all that....the lyric touched her. That day was special because I never saw that soft side of Miss Florence and Helen...


Now I remember what song! It was S Club 7's "Have You Ever"!


*The End*

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