Showing posts with label Angry. Show all posts

29.40

Angry post ahead.

I'm mad.

What a troublesome day today is. URGGGH.

Had to go out to the bank to get a new ATM debit card made because someone* in KL used my debit card for a Grab transaction (no idea what). I guess you would think it isn't much (see title, that's the amount) but the troubles it's giving me is so much more than that.

[*that I hope will not live peacefully after this because I'll curse them in my head every time I recall this - seriously F**#$&^#@& ]

Gaaaahhhhh I'm so mad right now!!! Currently, I have an ongoing Kino order that used the old debit card that I most probably have to cancel... it was supposed to be a good deal - it was purchased during their 15% discount sale and I also used my RM15 voucher - and that will now mean nothing because that idiot decided to mess with my day (and it's Ohno Satoshi's birthday, of all days! Which means I might remember this every year because it's on his birthday ~~F*ck~~).

So, so mad!!!! Since it's not time to replace my card yet, I also had to pay RM12... Such unnecessary expense! Just because of that idiot!! F*CK

The whole thing thing is so troublesome!
I hate troublesome things!

....F*CK!!!

Time: 2024-11-26T16:20:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2024 posts , Angry , I Need to be Distracted , Need to Get This Out of My Chest , Online Shopping , Pardon My Language

Exclusion

Posted in: 2012 posts | Angry | Delayed Rebellious Phase (Cringeworthy) | University: Final Year Project | University: Year 4

I skipped November this year!

Only for this blog though.

So... this week was the week they submitted the draft for the first 3 chapters of their final year project. Me excluded. (Off-topic: I found out I wasn't alone. There's another guy who's in the same batch with me who will start doing his thesis next semester. Hello friend! lol).

Anyway... been taking classes with juniors since few semesters ago.. I'm able to recognize most of them nowadays (except those I rarely talk to) although, honestly, I couldn't remember their names. *bitter smile* They remembered mine though... Gee. Was/Am I discussed that much by other lecturers? *perasan XD* Some of them are naturally lovable... They are usually the mood-makers of [certain] classes.. And of course. Some were annoying. That's not really a problem. The ones that could occupy my mind with anger (& a bit hatred *I'm being honest here*) are the rude ones. With my inner conspiracy theorist & Naruse-like thoughts at action, I used to always wonder just what assumptions about my character were told to those juniors by あくま et al. Okay... maybe it's unrelated... *thinking too much kind of thing*.. but a few weeks ago, I find myself offended by what some of them said & did (different people) - yes, I'm ashamed to admit to myself that I can be petty & sensitive during those moments... moments I will not mention here - I spent hours replaying those scenes in my head... I know it could get worse so I decided to play the ignore card again. It worked out beautifully.

Ahh... Now I feel like pouring out everything here. Maybe later.. in other posts.

"There's some kind of prejudice going on," said my conspiracy theorist side. It's inevitable...? Students who extend their studies in university only consist of failing/repeating students... you think? (Maa... It is true for my case. I didn't forget that fact.) But that isn't the only reason they have to extend... *sigh* Alright. I guess, for lecturers, they speak with experience - they had seen other realities... but I'm not obliged to agree with them all the time.

Especially if the lecturer is someone who spreads unproven accusations around & in risk (or maybe it has happened?) of damaging a student's reputation... I don't have to always agree with what this kind of person said.

Time: 2012-12-08T02:25:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2012 posts , Angry , Delayed Rebellious Phase (Cringeworthy) , University: Final Year Project , University: Year 4

悪魔

Arashi's "truth". I always listen to this when I'm angry.
Edited 7 years later. Music video from Arashi's own youtube channel!

Current mood: Bitchy.

Yesterday, while I was busy with the processes (had to go to many places to get the form signed) of renewing my matric card (3 words: Expired. Extension. Important.), I received a text message from my friend about DrA (gosh Mel! I'm so tempted to use the nickname あくま for him *such a perfect initial*). I had given him my form (I want to take another subject this semester but I'm one credit hour over the allowed amount *15*) the day before. Written comment(s) must be attached to the form before the dean can sign it. He knew that all along... & yet he didn't inform me earlier... *annoyed* *あくま！*... Anyway.. he had problems with the subjects I plan to take this semester (all 3rd year subjects).. he suggested that I switch programmes (I'd thought of this before) & I explained I don't want to because I couldn't stand going through another 3 years (AND IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GOING TO/CAN USE THE DEGREE TO GET THE JOB I WANT LATER *arrogant*). Then he further suggested I change - re-take some 2nd year subjects - because all the 3rd year subjects are killer subjects. HUH? You think I'm not aware of that?? ...to be honest, to me, all of them are killer subjects because I hate what I'm studying now! I didn't get it why he was so against the subjects I decided to take this semester! Maa... I can understand if it involved the subjects he teach, I can TOTALLY UNDERSTAND if he doesn't allow me to take them... but it really baffled me. I thought "What the heck was going on?" while I was holding back my tears...

While he was typing out the official memo (the "comments" needed), I couldn't hold them anymore. Amidst my tears-shedding moment, something he said caught my attention. He was saying something like how could he allow I take those subjects when I failed four subjects... blah blah blah... Then I realised that he was referring to my old results (actually I already ~~barely~~ passed three of them!!). WTH? 1&*^$*@83!!!!!!!!!

To make the story short, for this semester I'm not going take his ~~bloody~~ class. I'm allowed to take the other subject (in which he's in charge of the lab tutorial session) if only I will report to him about my progress (& if it's bad, I have to withdraw from taking the subject).

Life is complicated.

Anyway, I cried because I couldn't accept the way he was treating me. Yeah, I know, I REALLY KNOW & AWARE that my results aren't good (but that was mostly because I didn't care to study *so bad!*) but I'm not stupid! My ego just can't handle that treatment... I know that I'm good at a lot of things [I like]... he sounds like he's assuming that I'm bad at that. Among the things he asked me was if I finished taking my language classes... WHAT language class? I already got that over with many semesters ago... so obviously he thought I'm taking the 5-semester English class!!!! WHAT???? I know my english level isn't the best, but I dare say mine is better than his! ~~There, I said it!~~ *Arrogance=MAX*... Of course he speaks in english with confidence but he's always committing grammar mistakes *says the grammar enthusiast in me* HUH!

At this moment, I'm so/still bitchy & bitter about the whole thing that I can't find a place in my heart to respect him anymore. I plan to ignore him for the rest of my life. Expect bad behaviour from me whenever we meet!

Time: 2012-09-14T21:07:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2012 posts , Angry , Defining Me , Delayed Rebellious Phase (Cringeworthy) , In Arrogant Mode , No Mood , Nonsense , University: Anecdotes , University: Year 4

試験結果

It seems like my piano exam result was out last Monday...? Did I remember the wrong date?... AH. I can only wait till my class this coming Sunday to know. *sigh*

Regarding my final exam results for last semester... well... it wasn't bad... from my point of view... I finally passed one of the subjects I failed few semesters ago. But I failed the other class again *omigosh. I just laughed to myself after I typed that out XD*... Forgive me if I sound unrepentant. It's shameful indeed. But I have totally lost any interest in what I'm studying. I seriously thought of switching programs/majors after I saw my exam result.. man. I even thought of quitting!

I decided not to in the end because it would be very bothersome & wasteful.

*BIG SIGH*

Actually I knew it was going to be like that... Arghh. I hate the thoughts of taking classes with Dr A again. .............................................

Anyway.. now I'm worried about my final year project. I actually had interest in random numbers (totally no idea under what subtopic this is under though)... But after the few hours of thinking of switching & quitting, I think that topic is too hard for me too handle... it's also very risky considering my lack of motivation.

The only thing I'm interested in doing now is my music theory (my piano teacher have the same thing in mind with me - Grade 5's Theory exam instead of Grade 4's!)... so predictably, it led me to thinking of doing research on mathematics & music. But...I don't know where to start! Which lecturer to consult with? What topic? *the worst thing is I can already imagine Dr A smirking ~~like a ドS~~ during viva/progress presentation because this topic isn't as good as what his field can offer. URGHH.* Ha......... I should start reading articles regarding this. The least I can do is find some info before I meet my mentor. This too... I can already imagine her nagging why I didn't do better last semester & maybe... how will I find work later with these not-so-bright results.. huh. *evil smirk*... ah.. but I can answer this if it ever come up. "I'm really, really, REALLY not interested in Math. But even with these mediocre results, I want to be able to graduate." "... I can always be a piano teacher if I want to... because I CAN."

....

Somewhat... I'm beginning to think that I'm going to start talking back at my lecturers next semester (Oh gosh!!)... ~~student with bad attitudes in the making?~~ Have to admit... I've gone from hating what I study to hating everyone related to what I study.

I'm grateful that I didn't get a PTPTN loan.

I'm grateful that I take up piano lessons again four years ago.

I'm grateful that I took piano & music theory exams.

Time: 2012-07-25T01:02:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2012 posts , Angry , Delayed Rebellious Phase (Cringeworthy) , Life: Furthering Studies , No Mood , Piano Exam , Self-talk

Will Stay Nameless

I used to describe him having a vast range of knowledge in his field. Taking full-length classes with him this semester made me see something else... & think otherwise. I respect him. I still do. Maybe I'm being oversensitive but I could not always appreciate his "sense of humour".. ~~if you could call that humour~~. In fact, I will not tolerate it when he make fun of things I take interest in... such as art. Heck, I felt insulted even when he talked about Math (although I don't like Math that much anymore). How ironic...being in charge of a program you think mostly consist of things that have "doubtful" usefulness to future job prospects. Even if there are truths in that (of course not everyone can be mathematicians), it's unnecessary to make fun of it by telling your clients (students are clients, no?) in such a way as if they've made a bad investment or something. The future is an uncertain thing. You can envision a future... but there are still possibilities you will arrive at a different future from what you aimed for.

*a deeply offended individual*

Gosh. I really hate it when I found another thing to hate on besides something I already hate (& made peace with).

Time: 2012-03-01T01:10:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 1st post , 2012 posts , Angry , Delayed Rebellious Phase (Cringeworthy) , University , University: Year 3

Latest Peeves.

Posted in: 2010 posts | Angry | NaBloPoMo | No Mood | University: Year 1

#1
What an untimely dinner plan.

With my (or rather my family, cos I was rejected by PTPTN) very tight budget for this month, they are planning a dinner next week. How adorable.

No, no. I'm not whining because of the lack of money. I'm complaining because of their untimely dinner plan. I know the dinner is important - it brings together seniors and lecturers related to my major course - but it's also ill-timed and inconvenient. What makes it worst : I can't complain openly to them because it's my own problem. Huh.

#2
My sister misses home terribly. I never seen that side of her before. She seriously hate that place.

Anyway. She said they'll have holidays (for Chinese New Year) next month. So she has been begging for my parents to let her return home. My father called to make sure it's okay to do that & they answered positively. Then, today, my father called again to make further inquiries and you know what they answered? The CNY holidays are only for Chinese trainees. After the tickets were booked. During this tight budget month.

He'll call to ask them again tomorrow.
I'll reserve my anger for tomorrow too.

Read update on this here.

Time: 2010-01-06T23:44:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2010 posts , Angry , NaBloPoMo , No Mood , University: Year 1

Nov 23rd at random

This might be the shortest “at random” post ever made…

Two things that made my day today…

Google wave invite! (Time to learn waving!)

Jonas : Rockin' The House DVD (Volume 1). Just received it via mail today. YesAsia rocks. Lol.

===

I almost stop “blogging everyday" last weekend. I received a rejection letter from PTPTN (personal information inconsistency) . I was upset, which somewhat surprised me. What’s next? Re-apply PTPTN? Why am I having doubts? During my last months of Semester 1, I’ve been hearing (and reading on the internet) that I should avoid PTPTN if possible. They said the interest is high and their service (dunno which service they’re referring to) is crap. Twice they came to my university to collect the documents needed and twice I didn’t send my documents. Was that a sign for me to not make a deal with PTPTN? Bad omens? I personally HATE them. I hate the whole process. I hate the people who came to collect the documents. I came on the last day (Sunday), he said I ‘crossed’ the setem hasil (duty stamp)wrongly so I need to buy a new one. Do I have some spare? (I never heard about about setem hasil until the day PTPTN required me to use them. So I was like “Why the heck do you think I use setem hasil everyday?”). Can you get it today? (Yeah, right… as if the post office opens on Sundays.)

Prejudice? Yes, I guess. There’s just something devilish about this PTPTN thing that makes me uncomfortable. I wish my parents will understand and let me apply for something else.

===

That’s all!

Time: 2009-11-23T23:46:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2009 posts , Angry , at random , Delayed Rebellious Phase (Cringeworthy) , NaBloPoMo , Shopping Bag , University

Bad Start to the Morning.

Posted in: 2009 posts | Angry | Delayed Rebellious Phase (Cringeworthy) | NaBloPoMo | University: Year 1

*this author was still in shock while this post was made*

These past two days, I’d been waking up too late (9-10 am) in the morning… which kind of ruined my mood to study/revise that day. So today I managed to wake up at 4am++…

…and after a (too early) morning shower, I went to the living room, switched on my laptop and connected to the internet. Gmail, Twitter & Google Reader. A quarter to 6am. Hoping to take a photo of sunrise outside my room (just experimenting, the view isn’t that spectacular), I returned to my room and found this outside my [recently renovated – messy] window.

The plastic bag wasn’t there last night.

It freaked me out as soon as I saw it.

Was there someone (stranger?) outside my window last night?

I even suspected my neighbour’s the culprit but…

There’s one outside my neighbour’s window too.

Whether he did it on purpose to make him look innocent or he wasn’t the one… I was totally disturbed by this incidence.

You said “What’s the big deal?”???

I asked someone else to throw it away (without bringing it inside my room) so I didn’t look inside.

So why it’s a big deal?

I suspected :

(1) Neighbour’s sick joke (they always throw cigarette butts outside my sister’s window and also our front yard). Honestly, I hate my neighbours. Both sides. They smoked a lot (everyday, even at 3 am!! Gila.) and they let the smoke came to our place all the time. I hate them even more when my parents don’t do anything and want us to forgive them. I hate the me that I turned into whenever I have to deal with the smoke so I can’t love such murderous neighbour. Ironically they are Christians. One being an SDA and the other RC.

(What’s that? “You can’t judge someone by their religion? You can’t expect them to be good by what religion they take?” )

(2) Bomoh/black (sickening) magic. I’m not superstitious. But I remember watching (or reading) something about people planting something gross in other people’s yard to like kenakan (I can’t find a better word. Voodoo them. Ill-wishing?) them. I don’t believe it actually works (it’s psychological) but I find these kind of things sick and gross – I don’t want that thing outside my room’s window. I don’t want that thing near the place I sleep.

(3) Crazy stranger. Random? Stalker? Wrong target? Or just a plain trash thrower who didn’t have anything better to do.

My family wasn’t happy with my reaction. Which annoys me ‘cos they say it’s only a plastic bag. Can’t they show more compassion on my nerves? This disturbing incident made me upset to tears.

Yeah, yeah…. laugh all you want at my overreaction. Maybe I’ll laugh too later when I’m old, when I’m bored being over-protected on my one and only life.

Seriously, it’s better to be safe then sorry.

I don’t like reading those nasty news (remember this?) – I don’t want those kind of things happening to me and people I care and love.

Yeah. Keep on laughing. I don’t care.

Time: 2009-11-04T08:33:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2009 posts , Angry , Delayed Rebellious Phase (Cringeworthy) , NaBloPoMo , University: Year 1

August 21st at random

//Ihategroupproject// Had a very bad, bad week. It’s supposed to be a “happy” mid-term semester break holiday but a group project that’s due AFTER the one-week holiday ruined it.
I’m so going to rant about it in a post. Possibly a long one. *Yeah, I don’t have anything better to do. haha*

*sigh* Dunno what will happen to me in the future? Had “meetings” almost everyday at the university’s library without much result to show. Hmm. Maybe because I wasn’t there to see the results. My group doesn’t need me anyway – they have a another leader that is “more leader” than me, someone who met the lecturer face to face, someone who knows what to be done bla bla bla. I'm only a leader by name (I didn’t even ask to be one!). In the end, I started having doubts whether I’m capable to lead in the future, having doubts on my knowledge and way of thinking, having doubts in my abilities and talents… Although I know how lousy I am as a leader, I was rude in every group meetings. I can’t believe someone with that kind of brain is studying in a university. (Yes. My arrogant tone is ON.) Oh yeah. That’s the kind of people who’s going to lead the future of Malaysia (or Sabah), one who doesn’t dare to think far and out-the-box, who only want to “stay safe” and talk beautiful but empty ideas. Some people are just not born with the right intelligence. Yay to the future!

//Books from Kinokuniya// My mum stopped by that book heaven while she’s in KL for a meeting so naturally I made her help me buy these… LOL. I know. Why a 21-years-old-to-be girl is into these kind of things? Blame Disney Channel. *Can’t wait for Camp Rock 2!*

I’ve always wanted to play these songs on piano!!!

//Happy, Happy Birthday!// It’s not my birthday yet… It’s Joe Jonas’ (Aug 15th) and Demi Lovato’s (Aug 20th)!!! Haha. Joe dressed up as a birthday cake on one of their soundchecks. JB’s video for Demi’s birthday. Surprise, suprise – Joe’s going to be one of the guest judge for American Idol’s audition in Dallas.
Thanks to the internet for telling me all these on a bad, ruined week. At least, now I know someone else has a better week than me. Haha.
//I may not follow you…// Since Twitter deleted massive spam accounts last July, I’ve started screening my “following” list. Okay, it’s seems unrelated… but anyway.. I just want to keep my “following” list clean. I do read every tweets, you know. My limit is 30 “followings”… So these past few weeks, I’ve been following but actively un-following too… It seems rude actually especially if it’s a private account (how would I know if I like reading your tweets or not when you kept it private?), but it has to be done.
I'm doing the same with the “follower” list. There’s TwitBlock to help me with that. I didn’t block all simultaneously – just those with alarming spamminess rating. Some twitterers are real twitterers (who may only post links in their tweets).. Everyone tweet for different reasons, so I think it’s quite unfair to block them. I do hope they stop auto-following though, it’s really weird to have someone following you just because you mentioned “foot” (as in “foot massage”, real experience!) in your tweet(s).

Time: 2009-08-21T19:41:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2009 posts , Angry , at random , Books , Delayed Rebellious Phase (Cringeworthy) , In Arrogant Mode , Life , Me. , Piano , Shopping Bag , Twitter , University , University: Year 1

My $-$ Driving Tutor

Posted in: 2009 posts | Angry | Learning to Drive | Life | Me.

This is like an extension story to My Driving Adventures.

Oh, boy. This June 22nd will be an awkward day...

My dad just had a fight with my driving tutor (an old man) over the phone (I think they've resolved the argument, though...). Well, I made my dad call him whenever needed cos (1) he's the one who found the tutor & (2) my parents paid for my driving lessons. This time, my dad called him to ask him why he's overcharging us (extra RM50) to retake the driving test. Then, he said it was because I owed him 1-hour of lesson. That day, he asked me if I want to have some practice first before the circuit or "litar" test (I dunno if this term is right or not). Of course I went for it (duh!). But I never knew he's going to charge me for that, he didn't say anything about it. And don't start with that You-should-know-it-yourself or *uh!* "the unspoken rules"...if you didn't say anything about it, then you REALLY DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. That's why sometimes I will just ask [back] (even though it's an awkward question) as long as I got their meaning clear because I want to avoid misunderstandings and miscommunication issues. *Geramnya!!!* My dad said he stuttered when he asked for the reason - the tutor was lost in words - and finally said about me owing him.

This is so horrifying. I'm utterly disgusted by these "mata duitan" driving tutors (I believe most of them are like that)... Even though they are so grossly disgusting, I still need them to teach me driving. I'm ashamed to say "I need them" cos I need them against my will. You know they are cunning and 100% sure will swindle you and yet you let them be just because you need them to teach you drive. Mel-chan actually once said I can change my tutor if I want to, but how can I be sure the others aren't the same? It wouldn't be that easy too...

Why can't I have other people who I know teach me instead (like some countries)?
Why don't they have that option here in Malaysia?

I just hope everything ended quickly.

Time: 2009-06-12T18:28:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2009 posts , Angry , Learning to Drive , Life , Me.

April 13th at random

I seriously have to stop slacking off! I don't like to lie to my piano teacher when she asks if I practised the song. Playing it less than five times in a 6-day time isn't what I call "practice". *sigh* I kept being distracted by the piano scores I found on the internet...

Anyway.. I ordered a book (There's a song I wanted to play from the book & I think this one is too hard for me) from here a few weeks ago. Today I received an e-mail from them telling me that they'd received my payment (I used bank draft) and to expect to receive the book in 10 days... - but I also received it today! That was fast!

Shopping bag!

===

Unbelievable. I [could] actually love seeing Jiro Wang and Rainie Yang in ToGetHer! A lead character for Jiro Wang and an otaku girl for Rainie Yang. Wow.

I can't understand why June (a form 6 ex-classmate) hate watching Jiro Wang. He's such a talented person! But this doesn't mean I have a fever/crush going on with him or Fahrenheit...

===

I finally finish reading "Catch-22" yesterday! The funny thing about it was I didn't find it that funny at all. Yes, I agree that it's funny at some parts... I guess I wasn't really into the story itself. But it was an easy read (I can read it fast compared to classic novels)... and I like the dialogues between the characters - that's mostly where the "funny" factor are. It gets depressing a bit in the end but it ended well - Yossarian got what he wants - and I don't mind reading it's sequel (hopefully the library has it).

===

Bengkel done last Saturday! Will start real driving lessons this Apr 15th (hopefully)...

===

I've been in a bad mood since I returned from the Bengkel last Saturday. I really loathe smokers! I'm not "against" smoking because stupid, lowly people deserve to die. It's the smoke that really bothers me because it drags me along to second hand-smoking. What is this world coming to? I saw a kid once sharing a smoke with an adult. I saw an under-18 kid coming in the Kolombong 7-11 outlet and asked for a box of cigarettes.

Screw you, smokers!

Time: 2009-04-13T14:24:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2009 posts , Angry , at random , Books , Learning to Drive , Life , Me. , Personal Thoughts , Reviews

Oddish Mood

Posted in: 2009 posts | Angry | Life | Me.

Doumo arigatou, ne... Mel-chan. ･:*:･:(ﾉ'∀`*):･:*:･
And yes, yes, yes - I'll fill in any forms I could get my hands on!

*attempts a nobuta-smile*

I'm feeling better... Still feels the urge to cry but generally speaking, I think I'm okay.

I tried several things to make my anger go away (I believe the sadness will fade away eventually... anger, on the other hand, isn't something that I can handle greatly)...

Wanna know?

I printed out a short note for the murderer (and put it out the gate of the house)... I want the murderer to feel guilty and know that we (my sister and me) ARE angry. The note looks have something like
YOU’LL NEVER GET A GOOD LIFE AFTER THIS.
and
I HOPE YOU’LL DIE THE SAME WAY.

But, in the end, I removed it because it could jeopardize my family... *sigh*

I'm also thinking of cutting my hair... (do you ever wonder why people want to cut their hair when they are under stress? I think it's because that's one simple thing that can show us a "change"... At least there's one thing you are in control of...)

I also torture my piano and my ears. I found this "truth" arrangement that I'm able to play on the piano. I do play with flaws here and there... but mostly all in fortissimo or just forte. It was surprisingly refreshing and stress-relieving... The "downs" of it was I abandoned the pieces (they were too cheery) I'm supposed to practice for class.

But one thing I really need to apologise for is "abandoning" my friends.

There's supposed to be a form 6 reunion last Sunday. I didn't go because my family returned to kampong to visit my granny. But with the state of mind I was in at that time, I might not go anyway...

I didn't reply much to the smses I received these few days. I hope that everyone isn't going to be very mad with me...

Life goes on.

Time: 2009-03-24T00:16:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2009 posts , Angry , Life , Me.

Sad and Angry.

I still can't believe that she's gone.

It's so surprising...

I find consolation in getting angry at the murderer(s)...

Blue has a new meaning.

I'm so hurt... and I confessed, I'm in an unforgiving state of mind.

I'M VERY ANGRY.

*smiles bitterly*
Two positive thing I've learnt from this incident...

My neighbourhood is evil.
Maybe it wasn't a blue Avanza after all.
Maybe the neighbour that informed us was the murderer.
Maybe it's a blue Avanza.
Our left and right neighbours are evil people. Evil creatures.
They smoke and they throw the cigarette into our lawn.
They want to kill my family... and our lungs.

People are naturally bad.
I know that I myself isn't a perfectly good person.
People are naturally bad.
Never assume someone is kind until you see their evil side.
People are naturally bad.

I miss my cat.
I'm very angry.
I'm in my cranky mood - I'll might not care what I'll say to you.
I'm in my sensitive mode. I'll burst out crying no matter when and where.

An excerpt from a post made in 2008
There might be people who wonder why death of a non-human could affect a human so much (My younger brother cried, no..., sobbed, because he saw the cat died during her last moments. He refused to go to school.) I guess, maybe it has something to do with familiarity. Something you already get used to see, touch, hear etc everyday suddenly is not there anymore. In short, we feel their absence because they were present in our life.

I can't sleep in my room these days. I will cry remembering that she was there.

I miss her so much.
I really, really miss her.

Time: 2009-03-22T21:01:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2009 posts , Angry , Death , Life , Me. , Self-talk

I Love You, Kuro...

Posted in: 2009 posts | Angry | Life | Personal Thoughts | Self-talk

My black cat died today.

Kuro is the most intelligent cat I ever met.

Do animals go to heaven when they die?

I hope so. I'm sure she will be happy there.

What a difference a day made.

She was still lingering in my room last night.

A neighbour said a blue car hit her in the midnight.

I was still awake at that time...

Why didn't I look out the window?
Why didn't I know about it earlier?

This sadness is hard to be translated into words.

I hate blue Avanzas'.

Time: 2009-03-20T12:31:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2009 posts , Angry , Life , Personal Thoughts , Self-talk

Fighting for Life

About Me

I'm predictably unpredictable, inconsistent, random & eccentric. Sometimes arrogant and silly. Always curious. Read that again without the snobbish tone.

「　Fighting For Life　」
Blogging since February 2005
RuYanda @ Ruth

2005–2026

My Other Sites

29.40

Exclusion

悪魔

試験結果

Will Stay Nameless

Latest Peeves.

Nov 23rd at random

Bad Start to the Morning.

August 21st at random

My $-$ Driving Tutor

April 13th at random

Oddish Mood

Sad and Angry.

I Love You, Kuro...

My Other Posts...

Fighting for Life

About Me

Blog Status

Search

Favourite Quotes

Things Currently in My Mind...

Personal

2026 Reading Challenge

Archives

Label Cloud

Followers