Showing posts with label My Paranoid Side. Show all posts

Airplane Mode Again

Posted in: 2023 posts | Life: Anecdotes | My Paranoid Side

Oof I got a shady call today telling me (in automated operator voice) about an unclaimed PosLaju package. When it started telling me to press what and what number I hang up... it was calling from a normal-looking mobile phone number so that's surely not legit! Blocked the number straight away after that.

I'm pretty sure I don't have any unclaimed packages since I'm not expecting any (at least, not today). They usually don't call like this!

Found a post on r/Malaysia about it and apparently they'll ask your IC number, name and address...? And there are worse stuff that could happen if it gets further... like WTF! It's usually my other number that gets calls like these but now it has reached the number I use for official stuff. Seriously.

*SIGH*

I guess it's fortunate that the delivery men usually use WhatsApp nowadays since I'm going to put that phone on airplane mode for at least three days lol

Time: 2023-12-24T19:17:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2023 posts , Life: Anecdotes , My Paranoid Side

Have yet to Find The Answer

...because I was listening to Arashi's "Find The Answer" when I compose this post lol

Few more days until the water disruption thing ends. While I've been positive(?) about it before... can't really say it feels the same now. Of course, you don't have to do laundry everyday but when I do manage to wake up early, it's Zombie mode for at the next two days. Haaaaah. Tried going back to sleep after setting the washing machine up.. helped a bit, but I can still feel the effects. There's also that option where I do it at night but I don't really want to do that...

Anyway, new neighbour [to the right] has started doing renovation works at their house. Heard that they need it done as soon as possible because they're renting the place out (so, new neighbours again?). I don't think I'm as affected as my sister and mother but... I do feel like going out nowadays...sooo I think that's proof enough how much I'm affected lol.. It doesn't really feel comfortable having strangers going in and out nearby. Also, it makes me feel paranoid (WHAT IF they are doing recon work on the side???).

Not much progress on reading "The Sirens of Titan". I feel like this one needs to be read slowly for some reason. That's worrying. Oh, well. I'll cross the bridge when I get to it.

I really want to binge-read some manga now...

Time: 2022-10-21T07:47:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2022 posts , In Zombie Mode , Life: Anecdotes , Manga , My Paranoid Side , My Worrying Side , Our Water Woes , Reading

I don't want it

Finally finished "Easy Go"~~~! I think I like this best among the John Lange books I've read (only "Drug of Choice" and "Scratch One" so far). The ending made me smile.

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This morning, a close family member just informed in our family Whatsapp group that he's positive for COVID-19. He's working from home so he thought he probably caught it when he went out to buy food.

HAAAAAH

This is the first time this happened to an immediate family member. He's vaccinated and boosted so I think he'll be okay. But... honestly, this makes me don't want to get out of the house more. I don't trust... people. I don't want to get back to that normal situation where you shake hands with people like crazy. I've expressed this in a post before the pandemic was even official. Now if I really have to get out, I will be rude and refuse your handshakes.

Anyway, watch out for yourself and maybe... don't be too positive (no pun intended), stay a bit conservative about the idea of getting out and travelling... I know people is hard to control especially it's like they just "got out of cage" and in "back to [old] normal, baby~~!!!" mentality. Well, you don't need to listen to me really - who am I to you anyway, right? - I just wish that you'll think twice and be prepared for the worst if you're going to take the risk.

Take care.

...and don't shake hands with me.

Time: 2022-09-23T14:12:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2022 posts , Family , Michael Crichton , My Paranoid Side , Reading , Weekend Musings

Airplane Mode

Posted in: 2022 posts | F. Scott Fitzgerald | Interest: TV | My Paranoid Side | Youtube

My phone is in airplane mode since this morning.

A local mobile phone number called me around 10.30am and I freaked out a bit (only a bit lol) because I don't expect any deliveries today. First thing I checked was Shopee (haven't arrived yet), then outside the house (no unknown vehicle waiting).

Haaaah... I really don't like answering calls from unknown numbers~~~

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BTW, finally finished watching "The Great Gatsby". I still think it's as melancholic as the book, but ooooh I like the movie... I love everyone's performance there.

Oh yeah, I actually found somewhere(!!!) to watch for the version with Toby Stephens so I guess I'm watching a "The Great Gatsby" movie again lol.. [Saw a bit of it and so far I noticed that it has a different vibe from the 2013 version *I'm excited!*]

Time: 2022-03-12T22:09:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2022 posts , F. Scott Fitzgerald , Interest: TV , My Paranoid Side , Youtube

Helpful Distractions

Posted in: 2022 posts | blog images | Friends | My Dark Side | My Paranoid Side

Woke up feeling like 2019 today.

I'm fine.

I think I'm fine...?

2019 isn't a good year for my mental state. So waking up with similar thoughts from that year should be alarming to me.

First thing I did in the morning is to acknowledge those thoughts. Do I still feel that way? Not so much. It kinda went the morbid way in the end but I managed to brush the feelings away. That's not what I want to spend all day thinking about.

Distraction helps.

In the afternoon, got a call from Mel-chan. Helpful distraction #1.

After that, I got stuck with organising my digital images on the computer. Helpful distraction #2.

Why do I have so many screenshots from my phones?????

*sigh*

(I actually know the answer but I just want to say that here *haaah*)

Found a software (Files 2 Folder) that enables me to select multiple files and move to a new folder in one (or maybe two) clicks. Like I don't have to do the whole Ctrl+x, create/open new folder & Ctrl+v over and over again. It's an old software but still works in Windows 10 64-bit.

...it looks weird but I can still use it

I also love using the shortcut Alt+p to turn the preview pane on and off. Sometimes I need to use it but I don't want it to be there all the time.

Time: 2022-01-30T17:26:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2022 posts , blog images , Friends , My Dark Side , My Paranoid Side

Creepy...

Posted in: 2022 posts | My Paranoid Side

Received a text message that gave a 6-digit number "to verify" my Instagram account hours ago. I was creeped out... I did go and check my accounts (just in case). Just realised I didn't turn on 2-factor authentication for one of them. Didn't received any e-mails from Instagram though so the text might be fake. That... or someone used my number to register(?) an account.. *sigh* Both accounts are private though - basically nothing to see there lol.. One of it is my alter-ego (that plays games haha) and I use it to follow the accounts of mobile games I'm playing. Just thought I should make it clear that they are not open for public lol

I also got a similar text for Whatsapp last month. Because I was paranoid, I finally turn on the 2-step verification for that too. Didn't do it earlier because I was lazy (I don't get messages there often).

Time: 2022-01-07T22:29:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2022 posts , My Paranoid Side

How's Your Day?

Posted in: 2021 posts | blog images | Forty Winks and More | In Zombie Mode | My Paranoid Side

I was browsing reddit before I fall asleep. Yes, it doesn't help lol because I was there for like an hour before I decide to shut off the screen and just close my eyes. Then... this thought came to me: "What if I'm getting all these sneezes - those morning headaches - because of dust in my room?"

...That thought kept me up until 5++ am.

Never got tested for it but I do have an unpleasant relationship with dust. I used to have cold symptoms every time I cleaned a room at home. I had sore throats but no fevers. I sneezed like crazy but not all the time (which is puzzling, maybe it was one of the days I wear a face mask while cleaning) - when that happens, I might even have pain in my cheeks. It sounds like sinusitis but since my father and sister have that, I think what I'm experiencing is different.

So.. it got me thinking of all the sources of dust in my room. Yes, of course, my lack of cleaning regularly might contribute to that... but, you know, I also sleep with a stuffed 100cm teddy bear (don't ask XD). That could be one source? My google search near 4am confirmed it.

Anyway so that's how the start of my day went. How's your day so far?

I'm going to wait for parcels to arrive for the rest of the day. When that's done, I'll be in my room... attempting to clean it.

P.S. In case you're wondering:

-Did get to sleep at 5++am (or maybe 6am)

-I've put Teddy(lol) outside my room for the time being

Time: 2021-12-16T11:19:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2021 posts , blog images , Forty Winks and More , In Zombie Mode , My Paranoid Side

Sunday's Fears

Posted in: 2021 posts | My Paranoid Side | My Worrying Side | Pick-A-New-Book Jar | Reading

...Back into the cycle of fear!

Being vaccinated helps lessen the fear, but honestly... I'm still scared.

Good news is I'm probably going to read more to be distracted.

I was contemplating not picking a new book today but I've decided to do it anyway. Just out of spite... or fear, I don't know.

...I got "The Lathe of Heaven".
Ooh. So this is going to be the first book I read from Ursula K. Le Guin?

(and it's less than 200 pages... *lucky!*)

........................ *headache intensifies*

Time: 2021-10-10T14:57:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2021 posts , My Paranoid Side , My Worrying Side , Pick-A-New-Book Jar , Reading

Shady FP Rider is Back

Posted in: 2021 posts | blog images | My Paranoid Side | My Worrying Side | Online Shopping

I think that shady FP rider is around our area again or he found more friends to do this shady sh*t. The food arrived, rider was paid in cash, and *poof!*, the particular order got cancelled in Foodpanda system.

This is actually kind of annoying when you are aiming to do those Foodpanda challenges (you can accumulate points which can be used to get rewards in the form of vouchers).

Maybe this problem(?) could be avoided by paying online (so no cash involved) but my sister has lost trust in FP (she was surprisingly extra mad about it today). So no more Foodpanda deliveries in the near future?

Haaaah I remember feeling angry about this months ago. Since then, I never go out to receive the food and drinks. My other family members are the ones who go. For a while, there were no weird cancellations. Until now. It started again early October. Even though I wasn't there to receive it.

Time: 2021-10-06T15:11:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2021 posts , blog images , My Paranoid Side , My Worrying Side , Online Shopping

9.9 Day

Posted in: 2021 posts | blog images | My Paranoid Side

9.9 sale event~

Bought some non-book items. Kind of want to buy books too but there aren't any I'm interested in getting now... Will go window-shopping [again] later.

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Also, I went out of the house for the first time this year. I'm... finally getting vaccinated for COVID-19! My father found a clinic with "not many people" (because I want to avoid crowded places, no matter how far they are with each other). It was done very fast. Managed to finish a chapter of "At Freddie's" while waiting for 15 minutes after the shot. I asked to be injected on my dominant arm. Because I usually sleep on my left side... and I want to make my left arm work harder. Second dose will be done on the last day of September.

A comforting sight at the clinic :D

Time: 2021-09-09T17:52:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2021 posts , blog images , My Paranoid Side

Life doesn't...

Posted in: 2021 posts | blog images | My Paranoid Side | On This Day

It is one of those days again. A day like Morbid Friday.

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A note from the past

I've brought this baffling note back from the past! On this day, I've posted this [quite] embarrassing(?) note in year 2011.

Unfortunately, I don't really have anything to add to that. I tried recalling what I went through at that time and... this thing seems fitting so it's like a piece of past-me's mind. Is it a poem? Or is it supposed to be some kind of lyric I wrote for a non-existent song? I'm not even sure if it's mine.. but my 2011 post did include a photo of the note. ~~And googling gives me nothing~~

Seeing it again today just makes me feel... bittersweet? Can I still relate to that? Maybe?

Not going to spend time analysing that note today lol

It's not even deep or anything haha

Time: 2021-09-08T15:06:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2021 posts , blog images , My Paranoid Side , On This Day

Morbid Friday

Posted in: 2021 posts | Death | In Zombie Mode | My Paranoid Side

If this year is the final year of your life, what will you do with the remaining months before your death on Dec 31st?

I find comfort in knowing that my answer is "I still have things to do, I don't want to die yet." It's a relief that I don't share the same answer with 2019-me. Then again, we never know when this will happen. It doesn't mean it won't happen now just because I don't wish for it (we can't really predict the future)... the urge to survive does help to prolong life but sometimes things just happen.

Honestly though. I don't know what I'll do in these few months. There are so many things I want to do but in the end, I must choose to fit the limited time. Do I have to write a will and will that be legal?

Okay... actually nothing happened (yet?). I just had these morbid thoughts upon waking up in the noon. Couldn't sleep at all until it's 7am. The rain kept coming early morning. Still raining now. Also got reminded that I haven't gotten heavily sick yet like I usually did in the past. It's not like I wish for it to happen but it happened several times already, so it's highly probable that it will happen again. But then again, I don't meet people like before so... actually, I don't know what to expect.

*sigh*

Time: 2021-09-03T16:44:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2021 posts , Death , In Zombie Mode , My Paranoid Side

I Have Trust Issues

Posted in: 2021 posts | My Paranoid Side | On This Day

Time for revisit some old posts that were posted on this same day and month in the past.

Okay... I only got one. Which is last year's.

I'm sick again. For the second time of the year.

Oh gosh. I totally forgot about that.

Anyway.. that was enough to remind me again of the bad cold/flu thing I had last year and scared me enough not to get out of the house again.

Just had a random thought weeks ago. Around the time I posted about this early July. I seem to get really sick once every 2-3 years. The strep throat thing was probably 2016...? (I believe it was before I started working)... and then the one month thing in 2019.

Sounds like... it's time for that kind of sickness again this year? Or next year?

In April, I said that I can get out of the house if I want. Let me update you on that. Yes, I can.. but only if I'm going to a place with no one else. So, I guess I'm never going out then!

Total recluse mode ✔.

I have serious trust issues since last year. And my gut feeling is half-telling me I'll die if I go out there. I might die because of the virus. Or I might die because of stupid people acting stupid. (At this point you might say I'm being stupid like them. I'm fine with you thinking that. I'm not as optimistic as you)

So, get vaccinated, you say? I would like to. Only if the place has no crowds. Honestly, it feels very much like "I don't want to breathe the same air with all hundreds of you"-kind of paranoid so, like I said, I have trust issues. I don't feel safe out there.

...haaah... *tries to calm self*

Obviously, I need to get out and "touch grass".

Time: 2021-08-03T16:57:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2021 posts , My Paranoid Side , On This Day

A Shady Site

Posted in: 1st post | 2021 posts | blog images | My Paranoid Side

WTH.

I was looking at one of my preloved Crichton books and noticed the old owner's name there. So I randomly went to google for the name expecting to find their Facebook or other social accounts. Not finding any doesn't really surprise me (good for you for keeping it private!). BUT unfortunately, I found a site where you can apparently search...probably any Malaysian(?). WTF. Is that even legal? They don't show the whole thing of course except the full name BUT...

ERM... "...please buy"? Excuse me, WHAT?

<- These are what they have. Only name and age shown. E-mail address too, but only the initial letter and what e-mail you use (like gmail or yahoo).

That's super shady. Really, really shady.

I'm aware that there's a place where you buy profiles of companies (since this mentions that) but these are individuals though... why would you need to sell the "profile report" of an individual who doesn't own a company? Isn't that illegal?

Edit an hour later: After messaging back and forth with a friend, I realised that this website might be a scam of some sort. I used AdBlock so I didn't see it at first but when opened in incognito mode, there are many pop-ups and "invisible" links. They might not have the full information (only the surface) and intended to scam other people's money.

Time: 2021-08-01T01:48:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 1st post , 2021 posts , blog images , My Paranoid Side

Don't Call Me

Posted in: 2021 posts | My Paranoid Side | My Worrying Side

At this moment, I'm sure someone somewhere is selling our sensitive data for money and now the buyer is starting to make use of the data.

Somewhat pretty sure they had reached the part with my mobile phone number on it.

Just earlier today, I saw an unknown number (not Malaysia's country code/it was +62---) messaging me on Whatsapp about some job opportunity. It was suspicious AF so I blocked and deleted it.

An hour later, I received a call that is not in my contact list. Didn't pick it up. After it stopped, I turned on the airplane mode on my phone.

I'm not expecting any mails or parcels. If this is a call from sellers on Shopee or Carousell... They should've used the messaging/chat feature!

Ahhh.. I really don't like getting calls from people I don't know. I don't want to hear them talking. I don't want them to hear my voice (and probably recording the call without permission).

Am I paranoid? I guess I am.

Please don't call me, stranger. Just message me. Like... if you only have my phone number, I'm fine with text messages too. Just, don't call me as if we know each other personally.

Interestingly, I searched for "I don't like receiving calls" later and found articles and blog posts on millennials hating phone calls. Good. So it's not me alone who have problems with this XD. Although I must confess, my reluctance to deal with phone calls intensified after quitting my job at the end of year 2018.

Time: 2021-05-14T18:14:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2021 posts , My Paranoid Side , My Worrying Side

Shady FP Rider

Okay. It happened again today. I don't know if it's the same Foodpanda rider or not. But, it happened again and I don't really know how to interpret... the thing.

I ordered food using Foodpanda and I opted for COD. Then the rider arrived with the food. Then he said there was something wrong with his phone... and then next he said it's my phone that's problematic (Okay...?). So he asked me to turn off my phone for 15 minutes. The first time it happened, I just did it. Because I didn't think it would be a problem. Then later I kept thinking but if my phone is off, won't that mean I'm not reachable? True enough, the order was cancelled in Foodpanda system after I switched my phone on again.

Since the food did reached me I guess it's not really a problem? But why do I feel uneasy? Like I think I could get blamed for not being unavailable although it's the rider's instigating it. I think he's up to no good. I'm not familiar with how the payment works for COD between Foodpanda and the restaurants but I have a bad feeling that the rider is scamming Foodpanda itself. I don't know. Could be that. Or it's time for him to change his phone because it f*cked up twice already. I'm leaning towards the scamming theory.

Cunning and shady riders like this makes me feel wary about using Foodpanda again. Sigh. Maybe I should use less COD payments in the future to avoid this thing.

Time: 2021-04-19T18:13:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2021 posts , Life: Anecdotes , My Paranoid Side , My Worrying Side , Need to Get This Out of My Chest , Online Shopping

Dear Diary...

Posted in: 2021 posts | Knit/Crochet Stuff | My Dark Side | My Paranoid Side | Reading

Fine weather today, compared to last Sunday's.

Almost wanted to post an "On This Day" post (since I posted once in 2006) but that post is so cringy, I don't really want to post about it.

Slept without pillow again last night and neck feels fine in the morning. I'm probably too happy about being pain-free that I ended not doing much today. Knitted a bit. Haven't done any readings yet although I took one book out of my bookshelf today. That's another book added to my reading pile *sigh*.

I think I just want to distract myself from the current news. I probably don't look and act like it but inside I feel very paranoid. I don't want to go out. I know I can if I want to (it's not really like phobia) but I don't feel safe out there knowing there's someone acting stupid somewhere. Someone who makes light of this pandemic situation, thinking this will pass like seasons. Like, I don't know man, the virus keeps mutating... I begin to suspect if it's actually an intelligent being. Really, it's almost admirable when seen from a third person's perspective.

Funny how that makes me more interested in consuming plague themed books and movies. Morbid(ish) much? Yeah, erm, don't really care if I come across that way.

Time: 2021-04-18T19:20:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2021 posts , Knit/Crochet Stuff , My Dark Side , My Paranoid Side , Reading

Sleepy Sunday

"Every problem has a solution. But there's no guarantee that the solution will be found immediately. The same holds true in our lives. We encounter several problems to which the solutions are not immediately apparent in life. There is value to be had in worrying about those problems when you get to them. But never feel rushed. Often, in order to find the answer, you need time to grow first. That's why we apply ourselves, and learn as we go." - Yukawa Manabu, A Midsummer's Equation (Higashino Keigo)

Finished the book this morning. ~~What is sleep anyway?~~ I like this quote so I'm sharing it here. I think the book was okay. It's just like when I watched the movie... if I remember correctly. It's a different story but man, I'm really amazed by Tsutsumi Shinichi's acting in the "Suspect X" movie (haven't read the book though!). It haunts me. I still don't have the courage to watch the Chinese version (directed by Alec Su btw) because I don't want to compare. What I want to say is, I don't remember much from the "Midsummer's" movie which I think meant it's quite... forgettable? I guess there wasn't anyone that gave the same impact with Tsutsumi's performance.

I don't usually have strong reactions towards other adaptations. So far, I can recall two that I find displeasing (displeasing pfft) - The Korean version of HanaDan (BIG NO from me; I actually watched it until the end years ago) and Jane Eyre 2011 movie (can't finish it; the impression of the 2006 version is too strong for me). ~~Shut up stans, this is my blog!~~ Yeah not going to elaborate on that - let's just say that I'm not a fan of their acting.

And... oh... erm.. I can talk about what I'm reading after "Midsummer's" but I'll wait until I'm one or two chapters in.. *whispers* I'm afraid that it will jinx my reading progress. I'm so afraid of falling back into a reading slump. I'm capable of ignoring the books I'm reading for months (& years!).

Time: 2021-02-14T17:59:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2021 posts , Books , Happy Sunday , My Paranoid Side , My Worrying Side , Reading

Me on 09-Jan-2021

Posted in: 2021 posts | me on... | My Paranoid Side

I'm sure most people already realise this but... aren't we basically in a war? How could you live like before - going out like normal - when you can get attacked any time when you're outside? While I can understand some of the reasons why people don't want another MCO... it's kind of hard to agree with them when you see this pandemic as a war.. a World War 2.5, maybe... like seriously, is that so hard to understand?

Time: 2021-01-09T20:27:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2021 posts , me on... , My Paranoid Side

=) on Cake

White Choc Macadamia

Yes, I aimed for this part lol

Feeling a bit paranoid so... someone from my family had their birthday today. Photo session (?) was hillarious - "Don't include the pants [in the photo]!"

p/s: *paranoia intensifies* Heard something about my mother's boss a couple hours before this post. Is it time to start panicking?

Time: 2021-01-03T22:56:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2021 posts , Birthday , blog images , Family , My Paranoid Side , Photo Stories

Fighting for Life

About Me

I'm predictably unpredictable, inconsistent, random & eccentric. Sometimes arrogant and silly. Always curious. Read that again without the snobbish tone.

「　Fighting For Life　」
Blogging since February 2005
RuYanda @ Ruth

2005–2026

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Airplane Mode Again

Have yet to Find The Answer

I don't want it

Airplane Mode

Helpful Distractions

Creepy...

How's Your Day?

Sunday's Fears

Shady FP Rider is Back

9.9 Day

Life doesn't...

Morbid Friday

I Have Trust Issues

A Shady Site

Don't Call Me

Shady FP Rider

Dear Diary...

Sleepy Sunday

Me on 09-Jan-2021

=) on Cake

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