I find comfort in knowing that my answer is "I still have things to do, I don't want to die yet." It's a relief that I don't share the same answer with 2019-me. Then again, we never know when this will happen. It doesn't mean it won't happen now just because I don't wish for it (we can't really predict the future)...  the urge to survive does help to prolong life but sometimes things just happen. 

Honestly though. I don't know what I'll do in these few months. There are so many things I want to do but in the end, I must choose to fit the limited time. Do I have to write a will and will that be legal? 

Okay... actually nothing happened (yet?). I just had these morbid thoughts upon waking up in the noon. Couldn't sleep at all until it's 7am. The rain kept coming early morning. Still raining now. Also got reminded that I haven't gotten heavily sick yet like I usually did in the past. It's not like I wish for it to happen but it happened several times already, so it's highly probable that it will happen again. But then again, I don't meet people like before so... actually, I don't know what to expect.

*sigh*