Showing posts with label Form 6. Show all posts

May 4th at random

Mundane Updates...
My final exam for Semester 2 officially ended yesterday.

While I think over what useful activities - that would benefit me next semester - that I could do during semester break, I'm reading blogs and watching stuff on YouTube again without feeling guilty (for not studying for exam)...

Some very important issues are being discussed in my family these few days & I'm getting headaches (but that might be because of my bad sleeping routine). But seriously. I never expected to think about STPM and MUET again. The reference books. The syllabuses. The discouraging phase & system. Reminded me of discouraging and evil teachers.

Arrgh. Form 6 memories. The not-good ones.

===

Maybe...

In case you're wondering how the book looks like now... (Twee... on Twitpic

As I have to control myself from buying any books whenever I visit bookstores (See #6), I'm re-reading books I have in collection and maybe finally read that purchased-years-ago-but-haven't-read books. Few weeks ago it was Russell Lee's "True Singapore Ghost Stories"... in which one of them perished in the washing machine (didn't finish reading that one!). At the same time, I'm reading Jane Austen's "Emma".

Mr Knightley remains as my favourite character in the book. Emma? Hmmm. I'm kind of surprised that I want to re-read this now. I still think that the story's slow in the beginning... but it's always fun to read Emma's thoughts.

I love the way Austen described the people in her books. Realistic and simple. But the only way to enjoy that is to read her unabridged version books. Abridged and simplified ones sometimes kill my interest in reading (& maybe prevents me from loving the book). That's what happened to me during Form 5. I read an abridged version of "Pride and Prejudice" that I borrowed from the school library. The story felt flat to me. I was kinda disappointed. Then I gave the book another chance two years ago - I borrowed the unabridged version from the public library - and... fell in love with the story (& Mr Darcy). It was amazing.

Anyway. Back to "Emma". I've always love BFFs->Lovers stories (That's a spoiler BTW). I think that's why I chose this book.

(I would really want to recommend this book to you, Mel-chan... but the slowness of the story may scare you away. What's interesting? The resemblance of the characteristic of certain characters to real life people around us. Oh. And there's also certain events that...)

Dead link removed.

(Eve, YUI's new song "to Mother"!)
I have never seen YUI playing the piano before. But I love the MV.

..also removed.

"Can't Back Down" is really catchy. It's stuck in my head now.

Time: 2010-05-04T18:44:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2010 posts , at random , blog images , Books , Delayed Rebellious Phase (Cringeworthy) , Family , Form 6 , Friends , NaBloPoMo , Personal Photos , Reminiscences

5 Flavours Inside a Memory Box.

No mood to blog today so I took some really, really, really random things from my memory box. Actually the box used to be a shoe box, nothing special. But the things in it are priceless. There are sweet, sour, bitter, spicy and neutral things inside.

#1 “A Spicy Note” – I received this note after an individual science presentation when I was in Form 1 (2001). If you understand Malay, you can feel the spice in her message. I was amused that I could get a note like that (& also the fact she dared sending me that) at that time. It’s a thing from the past so I don’t think she remembers writing a note like that to me (thus I don’t mind displaying it here).

#2 “A Bitter Rejection Card” – Do you know why it’s bitter? I rejected the offer without consulting my parents. Ungrateful. My dad was really mad. They were even worried if I will reject this year’s offer & warned me beforehand to talk with them if I received any offer this year (which I accepted).

#3 “A Sweet Invitation Card” – That’s not me, it’s for my mum’s convocation. I have a post dedicated for that. I still think calling her “Mum” is more important than “Dr”.

#4 “A Sour Collection of Definitions” – Moral Education stuff. I memorised the highlighted words because they were keywords for definition questions and also for the essay part. I still hate that subject.

#5 “Neutral Reminders” – This was my ‘homework notebook’ in Form 3 (2003). Simple. I think I’m going to buy a similar notebook for next semester.

Initially, I thought of posting these photos only… I suddenly had the idea of describing the 5 flavours for these photos when I was typing the post. Inspiration is very unexpected & random. (Neutral isn’t really a flavour, is it? Tawar?)

Time: 2009-11-29T22:51:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2009 posts , 5 Flavours , blog images , Delayed Rebellious Phase (Cringeworthy) , Form 6 , NaBloPoMo , Personal Photos , Personal Thoughts , School

Selfish x3

This is composed under a slight emotionally unstable situation... It’s long so you can skip it.

I have totally lost it - I'm officially the dumbest among fools! I let those opportunities went past me, just like that! Three times already!

My actions were despicable – I know! – and my parents deserve to be mad with me. Remember my post in April? Ahh. Those days… were full of sweet dreams. You wish to be something, didn’t work hard enough for it, then in the end you don’t get to be what you wish to be. I always act so weird, I don’t know myself now anymore.

When I was in Primary 6, I worked hard for my UPSR. I was confident getting all As (5A). Most of the time, my style of studying was going through past years papers and similar exercises. That have always worked for me. I didn’t even finish read the notes in text books or reference books. But at the same time, I was a TV drama addict. I love watching chinese serial dramas on TV. That’s when my parents always nag me. Stop watching, go study. I think they, seeing that I’m not diligent enough, must had no expectations of me getting good grades for UPSR. Then, the results were out. 4As and a B. I was disappointed, but they seem okay with it. That must be start of all these.

Next, in secondary school… I aimed for 7As in PMR. The same style of studying still worked for me. I read little but did many exercises. Yes. In the end, I got what I want. At that time, things were to get even worse. SPM. I call my Form 4 and 5 years my black years. I believe I was having some kind of depression at that time, but I didn’t meet anyone to confirm it.

While everyone is enjoying their lives (they seemed to had it all balanced between work and play), I was having a hard time. I couldn’t cope with the new life. Being a [text/reference books] non-reader for years, I was shocked with the amount of “notes” I had to read (and to re-write…again). Okay. Fine. Organize them so that every day I would read a little bit so that I didn’t feel too overwhelmed. Wrong! I thought through things like that, but didn’t act on it. I kept procrastinating. I kept giving myself reasons to not study. I’m tired. I’ll do it later. Reasons, reasons until there’s no need for reasons anymore. I would just leave my books and went to sleep. Committing suicide was never in my mind…although, there were times I wished I would never wake up from my sleep and remained comatose for some period. Yeah. Oddly, I keep looking forward to what life would offer. I didn’t think the situation would get better… I just think that I would lead a good and exciting life in the future, and I anticipate that. I can still relate to that part of me now. Death isn’t going to help.

As expected, my SPM results weren’t that good. At least, not good enough to apply for what I wanted to study. I decided to try again with STPM. I rejected the two-year matriculation (in Labuan) offer to get into Form 6. I rejected the offer to study Computer Science in a college (it was the UPU thing). People called me crazy when I told them (and maybe stupid at my back). I didn’t care. As long as I got what I want. I enjoyed the Form 6 life. Well, the teachers were as fresh as us… we were the 1st batch of Form 6 in that school. Their inexperienced ways might had contributed a bit to our idleness. Mostly it came from our foolishness. Fast-forward. Exam day. I suddenly (and finally) realised it’s happening for real. Exam day! Did I prepared as I’d planned? Oh, no? No. I didn’t. I was startled by this little voice that confirmed I didn’t study enough for the BIG exam. No time to think why… my mind just straight away decided: “Retake next year's.”

So, next year – 2008. I think I already mentioned that my results weren’t any better than the 2007’s ones. All had been said in the post way back then. Last year, I rejected an offer to study Metallurgy. I’m not proud of it (although it may sound interesting to talk about in a class reunion next time when I’m successful)… Certainly, it isn’t something to be proud about. Anyway. It’s only when I’ve let go the dream, I could think without pressure. I will study something else, as long as I’ve interest in them. Here enters the subject of Social Science, Anthropology.

Putting that aside for a while… my parents are mad with me now because they seem to see me as someone who kept changing mind or [maybe] clueless of what I want. We received news about the Indonesian university I talked about last April. There’ll be an entrance exam this June 15th in UM. They were busy checking out prices for the flight from Kota Kinabalu to Kuala Lumpur. As the date approaches, the prices get higher. Which worries me a lot. Yes. Of course, I want to try… but I’m afraid of the consequences. What if the money spent would result in nothing? But then maybe I could make it… then here comes another thing – I’m not interested in studying in an Indonesian university (I told my parents that). I’m surprised with myself – after all those selfish things I’d done, I can still have the knack to be picky – I don’t deserve to reject anything anymore but… I can’t let myself be in a place I’m not comfortable with.

Another worrying issue is I might not even get what I want for UPU (I want to study in UMS so badly).

*sigh*

I know I’m not making much sense in this post… I’m not even sure if I’ve made my point or maybe I didn’t have any points at all. I’m just throwing out anything I have in mind – it’s so crowded in there!

It’s really obvious now that I need a major change of personality.

Time: 2009-06-06T01:51:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: 2009 posts , Family , Form 6 , Life , Me. , School

Random-ness.

-----
Originally posted on Friday, June 02, 2006 in my old blog
-----

Ahhh...finally...

# I hate to admit this, but I'm TRULY a computer addict. I just realised it. ~_^ hmm...

Living almost one week without the computer (ah~ craving for Kurosagi all the time....) made me so irritable & uneasy.

Anyway, I don't know what happened to the computer...but after an improper shutdown, the computer is stuck in 16 bit, 640x480 resolution, no sound & what's worst is: NO MOUSE POINTER. No mouse pointer. I repeat, no mouse pointer. *I CAN'T USE THE MOUSE!*

Good thing I know how to navigate using keyboard... Those "TAB", "SPACE BAR", "ALT", "CRTL", "ENTER" etc keys are very USEFUL! I managed to fix the resolution problem (Audio- no.), sent it to the technician, he FIXED the sounds...but STILL no mouse pointer! Once again, I googled for solutions. I searched using this keywords Download Mouse Driver, vmouse & found this (see the post by jack). Here's a copy of what he wrote:

I worked on a computer that had this simular problem. (windows 98) My mouse pointer would show in safe mode, with both a serial and a ps/2 style mouse.But when it came to normal mode, good bye mouse. I thought definitly driver conflict. Device manager quoted vmouse.vxd, code 8.But a little hard work and I discovered that the system.ini file could cause this problem. It has a number of boot settings within the file. But look for *displayfallback in the [boot] section, make sure it is set to 0 not 1. It should look like this *displayfallback=0. If there is any other displayfallback entries delete them. Make sure there is no other [boot] directories, other than the [boot.description] section, do not delete this entry. (also as a note make sure there is no text or code before the [boot] section, this could cause problems also.

What I did: I open system.ini using the RUN command in the START (just type system.ini), it appeared in notepad, & I checked... the value was correct (0) but then I realised there's some funny characters b4 the [boot] section. So I deleted it & saved the file, reboot the computer & TADA! The mouse pointer CAME BACK! Haha...That's a really simple solution!!

# Oh. Good. I almost forgot. After 9/10 years wanting & hoping (that) my parents would subscribe to ASTRO... They finally DID last Friday. (Thanks to AF4)
FINALLY.

WRONG TIMING.

This always happens to me.
Good things comes/happens when you don't want it anymore OR hope for it OR forgot about it. Really unfair. My siblings "enjoy life" more early than me. They own handphones at the age of 11. They can watch ASTRO at the age of 12. They can use the computer & internet at the age of 8. They got what they want at these ageS. I didn't get all this when I'm their age. Unfair.

I went through all the hardtimes, & they can just easily "enjoy their life" the rest of their life. Yeah...right..

Oh well. What's done is done.

Anyway, while the computer was "sick", I watched "Malcolm in the Middle" & "Passport to Japan almost everyday... And Monk. And Avatar (Love this!). NTV7. 8TV. But I still miss the computer.

# So it happened that I can't go the school of my choice for Form 6. Although I COULD go to matrics in Labuan (checked it already)... I'm staying here in Kota Kinabalu to pursue my studies in f6 in another school near my home...

So what if I can't get into All Saints... [the principle didn't "like" my science subjects grades (5-5-6 C) ~not her exact words~ "You can't succeed in F6 (..in our school..). You can't. You should just go to matrics. That will suit you better."; IN SHORT~ She's saying that I'm TOO STUPID for her school.]

A~ah~
People who call or treat me like a stupid person IS a STUPID PERSON.

So what if my new school is unpopular... So what & so what.

What I want & need now is a platform where I can be a f6 student & SIT for STPM exam next year.

# I read the first chapter of my BIO STPM reference book. Great. The information goes in smoothly into my head. Until I started thinking "What's this in Malay again?"

The thing is: Even if you had memorise everything while in f4/f5 (memorized 90% understood 10%) doesn't mean you can cope with Science & Maths (in English!) in f6 OR Matrics. Don't be TOO over-confident, my friends.

Okay. Maybe it REALLY depends on the person. Like what I saw in "Dragon Sakura/Zakura", those that have nothing in their head (bakaS), with the help from good (I mean it.), really GOOD teacher & teaching skills, these "empty heads" could be more successful than those A Cram-schooled students.

Some ppl will end up spending much time on "harmonizing" malay terms/facts with the english terms/facts they've just learnt.

Some ppl will live on by "eating their books."

And some ppl, after reading this post, don't agree with me, thus STUDY HARD to prove I'm wrong. I know who you are. (wow. I become your motivation to study?)

OK. Fine. Whatever.

I don't care.

I have to do things I don't like to be successful.
I'll do anything to win.
Even if I have to swindle
[I haven't watch Eps 7! & I don't mean this by cheating in exam!]

So what if I'm machiavellian-ish? I don't care.

My head is half-empty with corrupted data here and there.

# Currently most listened song: Yamapi's Daite Senorita (...daite daite daite senyorita...)
^_^

Time: 2006-06-02T15:32:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: ~Friday Posts , 2006 posts , Cringy Teenage Years , Family , Form 6 , Life , Me. , Old Blog , School

13 March ~ SPM Results

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Originally posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 in my old blog
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*staring blankly on my SPM result paper*

*sigh*..... What the heck?...

I got 6As (5A1, 1A2), 3Bs (3B4) and 3Cs (2C5, 1C6).... [it actually came out better than what I've thought!]

Nya!!!!

I mean... phew!!! *relieved sigh*

It's not good enough but hey..... comparing this to my past school SPM-like exams/tests results, this is better!

The results (I think) is just almost enough to 'put' me into matriculation.

BUT, I've made my decision.

...a decision that *really* suits my character, *to be against the most picked option*

I'm going to sit for STPM exam.

I'm going to FORM 6.

FORM 6.

*that will take 2 years from my life*

That's it.

*yokatta.....I've let it out!*

I don't know why I feel this really great relief (feeling)...

Like I'd finally cut my ties with everything related to SPM (schools, teachers, classmates....) & SPM...

SPM, sayonara!!!!!!!

p/s:

I feel like the veins for my
'happy blood' are finally unblocked!

Now I feel like I can speak happily, speak freely, laugh whenever I want, smile whenever I want!!!!!!!

KITAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Time: 2006-03-13T16:06:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: ~Monday Posts , 2006 posts , Cringy Teenage Years , Form 6 , Life: Furthering Studies , Old Blog , School

Fighting for Life

About Me

I'm predictably unpredictable, inconsistent, random & eccentric. Sometimes arrogant and silly. Always curious. Read that again without the snobbish tone.

「　Fighting For Life　」
Blogging since February 2005
RuYanda @ Ruth

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5 Flavours Inside a Memory Box.

Selfish x3

Random-ness.

13 March ~ SPM Results

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