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Originally posted on Thursday, May 24, 2007 in my old blog
~This is the last post (from 'there') I'm adding to this blog~
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What a terrible week. God, let me forget whatever had happened this week (& what will happen tomorrow). Amen.

Wow. It's going to be June already next week.

Ahhh. Yesterday I heard something very disturbing about my BIO teacher. He said something about us being arrogant to the lower sixth-formers... Well, actually this is a small matter only.. maybe it was unintentional.. but the person who first broke the news to us made it seem so negative... (added with the embarrassing incident where my friend & I kena halau from the orientation room when he was to give taklimat on his subject => giving me the impression that he's going to say something we wouldn't want to hear.).. STILL.. it's nothing big, but it ruined my day. I don't blame the teacher. He gave us time to prove to him that we can cope with the subject yet we haven't showed much improvement throughout this year. But it's still painful.

And today I sat for my [mock] MUET speaking test (we are going to take the year-end MUET)--- IT WAS PATHETIC. Disastrous. Tragic. What the hell was I thinking??! I didn't talk much. I can't find anything to say about "peer pressure". We lacked of chemistry in group discussion. Stupid me! I was very, very nervous since yesterday... My heart even beated so fast before I fall asleep.. & I kept thinking & thinking about the BIO thingy... Yes. Stupid me, again!

Well, I've said enough. Let's just move on with life.


Hmmm..
The funny thing is.. what happened made me see that life is fun & unpredictable. I think my MUET teachers expected something good from me BUT I messed things up. I [do] can be unpredictable at times. (Although this 'unpredictable' is something teachers would call 'inconsistency'...) Maybe I don't want to be left alone even after I have learnt how to walk because I still want some attentions from them. How childish of me..

Life is full of ups & downs, that's why it is unpredictable. And those unpredictable things makes life fun because you'll never know for sure what will happen to you in the future.. Why do you have to worry about the future & not the present time where you'll be shaping up your future? Life is always enjoyable even at undesirable times.

Imagine that you only have a few months more to live.. What will you do before you leave this world? Surely (if it's me) I'll do things I never did before (think positively, please) which I'll regret if I don't do it now before it's too late. And by thinking this way, I appreciate life even more..(Life is also short & vulnerable, don't you agree?)..

Okay, the main point is: Although I didn't do well this time, I believe I can do better next time. I just have to practise more & overcome this shyness which unable me to speak english. Also. I must NOT care TOO MUCH about what teachers say or will say about our weaknesses (or whatever). That was what made me went down during those SPM years.


Ruth, FIGHTING!





Why didn't I say this much during that MUET test??

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Originally posted on Sunday, April 22, 2007 in my old blog
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Can't believe it's almost a month after I last updated my blog...

So many things to tell.. All would be told in random order...

Firstly, we had "Majlis Anugerah etc etc" last Monday.. I almost forgot that this kind of things exist in school.. & I got the highest marks for Maths, MUET & BIO(! Tian ah!) for last year's exam (I think.).. How embarassing! It's not that high....!!!!! Not really sth to be proud of...

Last week, there was a SNAKE in our classroom! (LOL.. funnily, it was spotted near our class's trash can, a trash-filled trash can.) It was small but enough to scare me off my ecological project site (it was at the back of our class)! Good thing we finished everything & what's left was to remove the line transects (Done that already).

Had an argument with mum a few days ago. It was early in the morning. It's a misunderstanding. But that's not the point. I was SO mad that she misjudged me, that I walked into my class with tears in my eyes. I didn't care if my classmates saw me in such an ugly situation, at that time I really feel geram... I didn't know what they think of me.. I went outside & sat on a bench, trying to calm myself. It was the first time such thing happened to me in school. But I felt somewhat moved by my classmates care. They went to see me & asked what's the matter. I silented. But later on I opened up to some friends who stayed over. They told about their stories (regarding family matters) & we had some relieving laughs later on. It was a horrible morning, but thanks to them, my day was not really affected by the incidence (managed to focus on teacher).. Form 6 doesn't seem to be just Form 6 to me since then.. All fourteen of us are like family... Maybe the fact that our tables were arranged in a U shape enable us to look at each other more closer than before. (Teachers seem closer too... easier to ask them Qs now.) I would never want to lose contact with my f6 classmates.

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Originally posted on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 in my old blog
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Our monthly test was held last week. Ah. I was already ready to fail for CHEM. haha *laughs bitterly*. Again, I focused on BIO this time. There were only 10 objective, 3 structure & 1 essay questions. Yay! Another record! (lol). All Qs are worth of 50m, I got 27 out of 50. So..ummph.. should be 27x2=54% (yeah I know.. it's not something to be proud about but I rarely pass my BIO papers in f4/f5. It meant much to me)

CHEM paper was actually easy... if I did my revision, I could have gotten better marks. Surprisingly, I don't feel sad about it because I didn't work hard for CHEM. Regrets, yes. But no sadness. I think only those who had done extensive revision, a lot of memorising, etc yet still fail would feel sad because they didn't get what they want.

Maths---> The teacher was absent for this whole week, I guess we'll get our paper next week.. I have a bit confidence for this one.. Answered all Qs except one (not enough time..)

Speaking of Maths.. We'll be having another male teacher for Maths T Paper 2. ah.. the teacher entered our class before & I don't really have a good impression of him. hmmm...

We only had reading & writing Qs for MUET paper-- & embarassingly I got the highest mark in the class (at 77%.. also not sth to be proud of)


PA---> cukup-cukup makanlah. I passed for both papers.



hehe.. sth to look forward: LOWER SIX!
Being the first batch of form 6 in SM〇〇 starting last year, we'll have the privilege to become the first seniors to the lower six this year! huahahaha

I can't wait for the orientation day!! (oh yeah~.. it's managed by the f6 association).. wanna make them call me senpai... ruth-senpai..

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Originally posted on Friday, March 02, 2007 in my old blog
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Ah...finally have time to blog.

I think most school have done this. Yesterday, it's "Rat Dissection" (Circulatory) for BIO practical... For 14 of us-- we had 11 white mice dissected. yeah, we didn't use rats. We obtained the mice from the Jabatan Haiwan (I think that's what teacher said).. it's free (& SMALL!).. so I don't think complaining will be right cos we got it without much efforts.. (Actually.. I have one rat at home, caught from outside. When I hear mice would be supplied, it's already too late. & now I don't know what to do with the rat [my rat is bigger than those white mice..].. )

I've done frog dissection before, so I know (from experience) that my hands will shiver when cutting open the skin.. But I'm glad it happened only in the beginning. After that it just came out naturally (not the skin).. I was able to do it calmly & meticulously.. I imagined that I was a surgeon operating on my patient. I pinned its skin neatly (even got praised by teacher because I've done a good dissection... hahaha).. Compared to the frog, the mouse's skin was (in my opinion) more easy to cut & separate it from the inside..


Today I presented about Ammonia during CHEM classes.. wah...yokatta desu.. finally I DID IT! I've made it perfectly again this time!

My CHEM teacher made it clear today on why she wants each of us to make presentation on what we are learning. I totally agree with her: It's to prepare us for university life, cos there'll be plenty of "presentations" there.

For Maths... I found the topic differentiation interesting. It's really fun to do all those calculations. I feared this topic before in f4 & f5. What a waste. I belittled my own skills & talents just because I was afraid. That's what you get when you always think negatively. Hmmm.. Just believe in yourself ma, dui bu dui?


A month ago, I wondered what other students (f6 science & art streams in my school) think of me. Not that I care about what people say of me but I was just curious. From my own assumptions, I think they see me as a conceited, somewhat anti-social person. It bothered me a bit. Talking warmingly & making friends with new people are not easy for me. Only those who care to go pass the wall I built will see the better side of me.

But then, I was struck by a thought: So what? I can't satisfy everyone's taste. If they can't accept me (ie. we have opposite beliefs/characteristics/principles) then let it be. Maybe we are not meant to be friends anyway (I might not like her/him too).

I think what's important is to just express myself honestly without pretending as someone I'm not. I'm willing to help anyone who needs my help as long as I am able to do it.

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Originally posted on Wednesday, February 07, 2007 in my old blog
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---"Everything will be okay as long as I smile...^__^"
---"I [will] only compete with myself. If I win, I win OVER myself. If I lose, even if there's someone else behind me, I STILL lose to myself."

To all upper sixth-former around Malaysia: Are you enjoying your upper-six life?

I can't declare that I enjoy it right now.. but it's A LOT better than SPM life(really!). Maybe because the teachers are starting to treat us as [early] adults... Babbling & nagging are needless.. hmmm.. or maybe it's because of myself. Changing my way of viewing things & attitude might have contributed to this ermm..positive thought of better life in Form 6.

I tell you: My SPM life was a mess. It's a hellish transition period towards moving to higher level education. TERRIBLE & PATHETIC. A NIGHTMARE hard to forget. I can't imagine how I could live through the dark years of SPM & still afford to get half of my subjects A-ed. But all my science subjects scored rubbish...


Now I still have those uncompleted homework, I-Don't-Know-&-gets-blur times... I still watch CJK dramas on TV (still DLs some, but I resist watching them)... Still surf the net... etc

BUT I keep in mind what I should do. I want to spend more time studying while still be able to do all those guilty pleasures. I think it's a possible thing to do.

I know upper 6 year is a CRITICAL year for all sixth-formers. But I'm going to turn down all those usual, typical teachers advice... (That's what happen in form 4/5 when I care much about what they say.. & not to mention that I tried to follow their advice...& screwed up my SPM life)

This Year, I want to
(i) keep myself VERY busy so that I won't have time to think about foolish things & ideas.
(ii) keep on smiling no matter what happens
(iii) be more confident & couragous
(iv) be more sociable to others
(v) strengthens my relationship with God
(vi) *six!* get GOOD STPM results!


Fighting!

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Originally posted on Sunday, January 28, 2007 in my old blog
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Feeling blurry last week...

Aish... I get "blurred" a lot during Chemistry classes... Not that it's hard to understand, but.. scientific concepts are slow to digest at times..

Anyway. New things in our class last week - we re-painted the class in green + yellow & we have our own computer! It was Mr. K.Ng (Guru Pakar) intentions to put one in our class for Biology class use. But, of course, [we,] being fun-loving early adults, the computer would be used illegally by us as a source of entertainment!

I would copy some STPM trial/exam/test papers I found on the net to the computer. I think it would help us a lot in the future.

Oh yeah. I went to a seminar (with a friend) on Kursk State Medical University (KSMU) last Thursday in Promenade at NIGHT! I wonder why it was held that late~ Well, KSMU is recognised in Malaysia (See article: Make sure the colleges are recognised here). It went well. They gave a somewhat detailed information about the university & also the processes (presentation by the agent - Magaram Enterprise or ME). There's an emphasise on safety; eg. students must always let their parents know about their whereabouts, call them when they reached there... They even gave an example about those who went to Europe without telling their parents (on holidays) which made the parents worry (who called the ME later on to ask them)..it could be a chaotic situation I think..So the ME doesn't want that to happen.

My friend is interested in furthering her studies in Russia for Medicine after STPM. I hope the seminar helped her a lot.

Last week was also the week for Kokum's Mesyuarat Agung... I joined St. John Ambulance & Netball club. It's the first time I knew about St. John Ambulance (INTERESTING!). Lok Yuk (my last school) doesn't have this (which is a pity)...

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Originally posted on Friday, January 19, 2007 in my old blog
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Late updates.....

I didn't forget that I have a blog..^_^

Aish... did I have a good start at school on 3 January? I don't think so. It's not bad but really.. it's nothing special. Initially, I was so excited of our new timetable. Before school ended last year, we got a letter from school telling us that starting 3 Jan 2007, the science stream students would return home late (3-4 pm).. extra classes.. which I think is good.. But.. it looks like the school haven't got the permission from the ministry of education to do that.. (that's funny)..

Our Chemistry teacher turned out to be a FEMALE teacher. *sigh*
The funny thing is, she's a quite cute teacher - Half of her is like my form 5 CHEM teacher (have that fragile, vulnerable look) BUT also half of my form 4 CHEM teacher's STRICTNESS (which is good).. She's somewhat good too, I can easily understand what she's teaching. When it comes to CHEM exercises, she gave us worksheets for every topic & make it compulsory for us to own the LONGMAN's 1999-2004 past years collection (original or photocopied).. We frequently have quizzes to see how far have we "digest" what we are taught.. She's OUR class teacher too.

Mr. R is gone. He was a very fun Maths teacher *I'm going to miss his jokes* but maybe as this is our last & important year, he (or the pengetua) doesn't want to screw up our chances (I think)-- he has to go. And another FEMALE teacher replaced him. I'll call her Miss Shrny. Compared to Mr. R, she teaches with better speed... We still have many chapters to cover on.. She somewhat reminds me of my form 4/5 Matematik Tambahan (Add Maths) teacher but without my former teacher's smile & sunniness.

Our MUET classes also have changes. Our former MUET teacher was 'sent' to the evening school session & we now have two brand new faces for MUET. Mr. Jai (who graduated in UK) teaches us Paper 1-3 & Miss Flo teaches us Paper 4. (I shortened their names)..

The only teachers that remain unchanged are BIO teacher & PA teachers. I love my BIO teacher, I'm so glad he still stays.