One of my worries early this year was I feel like I was losing interest in things I love and always do. It was scary. It's like getting lost. Sometimes I would question the meaning of being alive when there's nothing to excite me anymore. In the middle of the year, I started feeling like I'm becoming a true hikikomori. I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to meet people - Basically: "Please. Just leave me alone". But of course, they remained only as feelings because most of the time, reluctantly, I have to go out of the house. Sometimes I was fine but there were days where I got so worried of going out & I thought someone was going to kill me. Was that anxiety? I don't know.

What's funny though was some of my interests & habits from SPM years resurfaced. The art thing I mentioned before, that was probably part of it. Also, I got insomniac again. I.. really don't know what's going on in my mind anymore.

Sorry if what I wrote seem jumbled up. I'm still trying to organise my thoughts. I tried writing into my diary again this year but couldn't make it a daily habit. Kind of hoping that blogging actively again will help with that.