Yeah... Well... One thing I didn't mention in my post yesterday is I rarely play on the piano anymore. HAAAAAAAAAAH. It has became worse after my long-time piano teacher retired from teaching me. Since my sleep times went haywire I always woke up really late. And then I have other distractions to attend to... *sigh* Yeah, reasons and more reasons. 

Anyway, something changed last month. My cousin has asked me to teach her daughters how to play the piano. So.. that happened. Which makes me play the piano as bit more and now I'm thinking seriously of getting back to my old music school for G8. I hope there'll be a teacher who could put up with this unmotivated, lazy adult piano student. My aim in the end is to be able to compose and transcribe songs at ease while getting better on the piano. It's a long shot but I might want to try doing jazz in the future *cue flashbacks of playing jazz piano pieces badly*.. a girl can dream, right? If I can learn to read Chinese and Japanese from zero, why not?

Noticing a theme here since Day 1. I guess you can call December as a month of healing, at least for me. I quit my job last December so maybe it's the right time to let go of the pain... by facing it head on.

Actually, I've been thinking about it since I attended my bestfriend's wedding in October. She was so beautiful that day and I was moved to tears. I did have thoughts of "Is it okay for the depressed, negative me to be here?" Also, I had one of my morbid moments there which I first shared with my sister.

"I'm so happy that I'm able to see her get married, now I can die in peace."

Sigh. This is a dangerous sentence (especially after I mentioned about having mild suicidal thoughts in an earlier post) but I assure you it was said in a nonchalant way. I feel like I can go on. It's weird that a wedding made me think like that but the positive vibes got to me. 

While I'm at it, I'm going to use art as part of the healing too. 

The labels in this blog are so messy! I used to take pride in my labelling system but because I haven't been blogging much since 2013 (6 years~!), I don't remember what is what anymore. Haha. Time to revamp the labels again! 

I have added two major labels: