I'm embedding some tweets I found in my Twitter timeline today.

Haha I don't think I'm very active in my social media accounts lately but that scrolling thing is so on point. So many times have I find myself continue scrolling even though I don't feel like reading anymore. 

This reminds me of the post I did in the past (which was also mentioned again in an "On This Day" post).

Received the metal book holder today. Seems sturdy enough. 

I'm actually quite excited to start using it! Have to get used to the thing holding the pages at the bottom. 

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What do you do when you feel hurt?

I don't know how this came up but I was thinking about it before I go to sleep. When I started posting here again, I mentioned about healing in at least two posts. The truth is, I was feeling hurt after I quit my job. I don't remember when but I was told how something happened that led to me getting transferred and I eventually quitting. I feel betrayed by people I thought I can trust. 

I still feel the hurt now but it's not as intense as before. I still feel like I can never forgive them. I guess this is the thing. Few days ago, my mother was watching something on the TV which [I overheard &] prompted me to say "You can't force someone to forgive you!" This is why I say I hold grudges. Passively, I think. Because to me, it's just a matter of giving a status (label?) and then move on with life. They don't occupy my mind all the time.

I do believe in forgiving when you're ready. I might find that one moment where I feel serene and I finally write it in my diary to acknowledge it. I know because I experienced it before. There was a person I nicknamed Akuma in this blog before. For a period of time, I was so, so mad at him. I will always give him the stink eye during his classes at uni. One day, all of a sudden, I felt serene (I think this is the perfect word to describe it) and I forgive him. 

This is why I get so triggered when I hear/read people asking to "just forgive them" because who the heck do you think you are? If they are not ready to forgive, let them be. Don't give advice like that just to make everyone but that person [doing the forgiving] to feel calm & in peace. 

Have I mentioned that I hold grudges?