Feeling much like I was in Form 4/5 since yesterday.

Alone on this road to nowhere. No one to tell me what to do. No one to tell me which way to go.

Oh.. right. Why do they even want to care? Why do they even need to care?


The last time I felt this way was in 2005 and early 2006. Now they are coming back to haunt me.

Just last night, I cried to Switchfoot's "Twenty-Four" song to sleep. You know, those out-of-blue kind of tears... It's not even because of how I did my exam yesterday. Just that... I suddenly realised that it's not completely over. Those feelings that I desperately want to forget and conceal with other so-called positive things still exist. They didn't appear (during f6) because I made sure of myself to not go down the road again, avoiding things that could trigger those emotions, including [maybe], putting efforts in studying. I don't know. This past could have been holding me back now.

All those good things could merely have been illusions. Or beautiful distractions. Or really just temporary, meaningless things.


Come and go...
So... nothing.




I can't believe that this is happening again.



*Nags are the last thing I need right now. Shutting myself off.*