Before, there were 2 main things that had been holding me back in my life.

1st, my regret of stopping to learn the piano abruptly in Primary 2/8 yrs old (or was it Primary 4?)... that was "compensated" last year. Now I'm between Grade 1 and Grade 2. I already sat for GUILD's music theory exam (Grade 1) and now going for ABRSM's Grade 2. My teacher originally intended me to sit both (theory and practical) for GUILD exams. But after she listened to me playing Burgmüller's op. 100, no. 12 "The Farewell" (which frankly I didn't think I played well that day, the tempo wasn't right either)... she changed her mind and wants me to sit for ABRSM exams. As my name had been listed for last year's GUILD exam-takers, I reluctantly still had to sit for that.

The 2nd thing was this.
It's me getting out of my shell.
I guess 2009 will be a year for me to get to know myself again.

Drafted on January 3rd, 2009.
Today marked the first day I [finally] stepped into a dental clinic and had my teeth checked.

Since my last dental check-up in Primary 6 (8 years ago and the service is provided, it seems, in every primary school), I never ever wanted to get into one again. The whole thing was a nightmare for me.
"You've been called by the nurse," and the person who said that will hand me a green cardboard file containing my dental details.
I always dreaded that moment.
Holding the file, I will ask for the teacher's permission to go out and walked to the clinic. My feelings at that time were always like as if I'm going there to die.

Yes. I'm terrified of dentists and any mention of anything related to them. The problem started with the primary school dental nurse(s). They called you, checked your teeth, treated your teeth (either by pulling out or dental filling, or worst, both) without even telling you beforehand. I mean, I don't even have time to prepare for the pain (oh! The pain! Can you believe that I rather have the pain of toothache than the pain of the treatment?)... I didn't make the choice. They just kept "drilling", "poking" and "teasing" your teeth... Earnestly, at that time, I would have prefer death to dental treatment.

I do know the importance of having your teeth checked regularly but that health-conscious obvious-facts never exceeded my fear of dentists.

Until today. In my family, a visit to a dentist always mean that someone in my family is having a toothache. In this case, it was my younger sister. In an occasion occurred a few days before, I had blatantly confessed to my mum about having two "bad teeth". She made me go with my sister.

The waiting time was almost a torture. I kept having visions of the school nurse. I wondered what the dentist's reaction will be. I thought of how strong the pain I'm going to go through (my sister made me realise if I can endure the pain of toothache for years, the pain of the treatment should be nothing to me). I asked myself: Is the dentist and the school nurse are alike? Can I still eat well today? Will I die today? I even cried a bit.

I came in... Clock ticking. Fast-forward. Done.
It wasn't as bad as thought it would be.

I won't deny that the fears had [slightly] subsided. The dentist was nicely cool about my phobia (as she said herself). I only had 2 of my teeth "filled" while the 2 "bad teeth"...
Her question: "Do you want these two pulled out today?"
My answer: *shook head violently*
And she laughed.

Anyway. She told me that she'll have them pulled out when I'm ready... which is very fine with me.

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