I feel like I need to post something today just to summarise what happened since my last post (which was in October. Wow). 

This photo was taken a week ago.

I'm sick again. For the second time of the year. Arggh! Fortunately, I'm feeling better today.. my 4th day I think? Last Saturday, I felt a bit hard to breathe.. it was like gasping for air after going for a run. I never had that before but yes, my nose was runny and stuffy since Friday, so I think it's not that weird. I probably slept in a bad posture the night before. Hmm. Anyway.. that was enough to remind me again of the bad cold/flu thing I had last year and scared me enough not to get out of the house again. I did go out several times since the time we were allowed to but I really don't want to go out too much. It's.. dangerous out there. 

I should be teaching piano this month but I cancelled it because I don't think it's the wise thing to do after seeing what's happening recently.

I didn't mention it here and it was really done in a spur of the moment.. but... I tried doing Watercolour Month and it was interesting! It forced me (in a good way) to paint something everyday in July. Of course, my knowledge of using paint only consists of the poster colours I did in school...

BTW aren't Posca Pens basically Poster Colour Pens? ポスターカラー Posuta Kara - > PosuKa -> Posca?.. Wouldn't it be cheaper to just buy poster colour paint set (of course.. I'm aware that there are some that are expensive)? 

Okay back to the topic... I didn't really do anything big or grand.. most of them are small!.. it's just something like an art diary thing. And I experimented a lot because I just jumped in blind and tried something I'm not that familiar with. It was fun nonetheless!

I totally forgot to post in June!

Oh well, there aren't much to talk about anyway.

Some updates:

• Finally received the book I purchased via Bookurve at the end of February last month. My Dijun crush has died down now although it might rekindle again since apparently "Eternal Love of Dream" is going to be shown on 8TV this week. In June, my mother suddenly joined me in watching "Love and Destiny" and after it ended I really wanted her to see Feng Jiu & Dijun again.
• Tried out Google's video call services(?) with my bestfriend. Lol.. honestly I won't have much opportunity to use them (except with my family) so I took advantage of that and tried all. I used a desktop computer and my phone as the "camera". I'm fond of Meet (for now)... Hangouts' should be okay but I don't really like to hear my voice echoing after I say something (I already muted anything like when I use Meet). Duo was okay too but I can't use it on the computer (no camera).
• One of my favourite seiyuu (Konishi Katsuyuki!) opened his own Youtube channel where he streams his gameplay. I got super excited when I saw him playing "Death Stranding" although I just realised the existence of his channel a month later. He was super low-key about it! I happened to see his tweet about going live so that's how I knew. If I remember correctly, in one of his DS playthrough, he was asked if he's finally becoming a youtuber [as in making it a career] and he said he didn't think of it that far. He just wants to play video games together with his audience. 
• While he plays, he talks about a lot of things so watching him is kinda relaxing haha... He's quite attentive too [I'm guessing this is because of the nature of his work?] - he often sees the chats left when he's livestreaming and he will make some comments on it.

• Art.. The urge is back! And since I talked a bit about it with my bestfriend.. I feel like painting something recently.
• Been thinking about adding more photos in this blog. That would make it easy to post something in the future.
• Also, recently I've thought of compiling my old tweets here [for my own benefit] lol.. so hard to navigate to the oldest (although it's easy to make a twitter search) now. The idea came when I checked my Twitter archive and found interesting tweets from the past. It was fun to see them again. 

From the past (May 1st)...

I just had a glimpse of my old self. My old teenage self. Oh gosh.

So.. I just checked my e-mail and saw one from the person I'm buying from on Youbeli (mentioned in a previous post). They wanted to confirm if I still want to use the same address to ship the books. At first, I was overjoyed because hey~ they managed to procure the books (I'm guessing they get it via Taiwan?) #OMG... then I became mildly panicked. The e-mail is written in Chinese. It doesn't matter. I can read it.. and I can use GTranslate to confirm that I read it correctly BUT... it reminded me a lot of when I was still an avid fan of Alec Su, it was quite scary!

I've mentioned before that I learnt to read Chinese via the unusual route (sometimes using haphazard methods). During that time, I purchased a lot of Chinese magazines to find information (mostly photos lol) on Alec Su. That experience gave me some kind of complex regarding using the language in.. erm.. business situation? For example, I would be so afraid to buy Chinese magazines and books at local shops because they might talk to me in Chinese.. I guess I still have a bit of that now. I know I've managed it better in the recent years but whoa.. never thought I'll replying to an e-mail in Chinese today.

It's not really a big deal haha... Since I'm in my zombie mode in the morning, I kept it short and simple. Fortunately my brain was still capable of reminding me that. Just something like 'as long as the message got through', you know? I don't even want to know anymore if I used weird vocab because urgghh... Probably sound like a robot but who cares anymore! They already e-mailed back that they'll mail them later... I think.. I don't want to open my e-mail too long... Of course..



Today...

Sigh.
Where do I begin?

Honestly, been feeling & recalling... negative stuff lately...

I suddenly recall some particular occurrence in university. I remember feeling down for some time and then next week I was happy(?), full of hopes "I feel good! I can do this!"... then.. got back to feeling down days after that. At first, I thought "oh so I'm not that depressed then"... but... deep inside I know what I was going through wasn't normal. It didn't help that googling the symptoms brought me to the idea of bipolar disorder... hah! As if!....

...but...what if...

*silence*


Yeah.. so I recalled about that thing.. and another thing from primary school days. I... well.. how do I say this... in my mind, I see it as "I was bullied" but it was more like I got pushed into doing things I didn't want to...? I used to be that kid that couldn't say no & probably came across as a pushover to some people.. It was only in secondary school that I became braver at saying no. But not all the time. Even now... if I could avoid saying no, I will try to anticipate if I might fall into such events and act accordingly (might even involve manipulation)... in short, the current me is sensitive to hints of bullying/taking advantage of me...

...so it's probably obvious at this part.. Yes. My mind is going all directions and I'm talking gibberish... just hoping that putting these stuff down here help these rushing thoughts slow down..


Another thing... recently, I'm worried of getting bored easily. I don't care if I'm boring to others (har-har).. not that.. I'm worried that when I do something I enjoy, I would lose interest in it soon. This worry is real and I feel stressed over this more than I should..

This blog is 15 years old~

Tumblr of the Day:

I finally published the draft post from 2012 that I mentioned in a post last month. It's here: "The Real Final Post of 2012".

What I purchased at Popular (Imago) last Saturday [Jan 11th]. Latest volume of Bungo and another PwP book from that bargain corner. Didn't find much books of interest in this particular Popular outlet except this (I have the first book in the series given by someone years ago).

My mother received this at work. I kind of like the taste. It's funny that some were already missing an eye or ear when I opened it.

Preloved books purchased via Carousell (RM10 each including shipping) received yesterday. More books for my Michael Crichton collection!

Had a short conversation(?) with the PosLaju postman XD. He called my other phone (that has a damaged screen) when I wasn't at home for another package few days ago and no one answered. I explained that the phone is broken and I forgot to tell my sister (bought through her Shopee account) to change my number. Fortunately he wasn't heartbroken, he said. Okay... I guess... ( ´д`)ﾝ？ Huhuhu.. sorry for the trouble, Mr Postman.