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Originally posted on Monday, June 19, 2006 in my old blog
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Just sth I wrote last week in my green notebook.

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~ Know what you want ~

That's what our *temporary* class teacher said, Mr. K. Ng. (going to call him Sir K)

I'm right all along! So typical of All Saints teachers.

Hehe... but, so far, I like my teachers. The Pengajian Am (=General Studies?) teacher has a somewhat good sense of humour. Mr K seems easy to talk with.
The first minute I see the teacher, talking in front of the class ~ I know instantly what kind of teacher he/she is. I tell you: Most of them are the 'swindlers' type. What you see outside is not what's inside.
I *do* judge books by its cover.
If I see "evil faces", I'll assume he's bad.
If I see "good faces", I'll assume he's okay.

I believe in "first impression".

But, well, of course I don't "assume" they are like that the rest of my life. People change.The goodie ppl might turn out bad after all. The baddie ppl... ah, you know-lah. I've seen a lot.That What-I-Think-About-Them will change.

So, my impression on ppl around me changes accordingly.

Oh yeah. Mr K asked us: "Why do you want [to do] F6?"

My answer for that is the same with the reason(s) why I need f6 (science stream).

I didn't do well for my SPM.
[Yet I know I can. Because of some stupid "little problems"... I didn't (not can't)]
I've wasted my talents & time for these "little problems" (believe me, you don't wanna know)
I want to "reclaim" what I should get.
I have to show 'them' that they are deadly wrong about me.

# I need f6 b'cos I believe I will not do well in matriks. Being in matriks will just bring back memories in f4/f5... also: 2 many tomodachiS there.... I can't study that way.

I know f6 is hard. But I truly believe this is the best place for me to "fly to my destination".

Don't think you know what's best for me. You are not me. You don't think like I do. You don't know me.

If you don't support my decision. Fine.
But, please at least respect what I've decided.

*fin*

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Why do I eagerly want to score well in STPM? Didn't I despise those "straight-As" students? Why am I *somewhat* becoming (or want to) into one? Isn't it against what I said?

[Think of Kurosagi. Why does Kurosaki became a Kurosagi (black swindler)? He hates sagishiS(swindlers) esp ShirosagiS! ]

I guess the only answer I have would be: I want to show them a failure like me can "become into one".

Pathetically, I like to "see" them realise that they are wrong about me. Proving that they are wrong is the best part.

Maybe this also have sth to do with "The Curse of Science 1 class"...

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