~ Mathematics II [1st Day - Apr 21st, 2010]

(This is a "sequel" course to Mathematics I. Well, obviously.)

Didn't study enough.

So... yeah.

I am ready to meet you again, Maths 2.

After I returned home, what bothered me wasn't how badly I answered the paper... but a realization that hit me during the exam. A blast from the past. Find it. Or better - don't find it.

~ Statistical Package Programming [2nd Day - Apr 23rd, 2010]

Okay... wasn't really smooth-sailing, but at least I managed to answer all questions.. There were several incomplete answers though.

Feeling much like I was in Form 4/5 since yesterday.

Alone on this road to nowhere. No one to tell me what to do. No one to tell me which way to go.

Oh.. right. Why do they even want to care? Why do they even need to care?


The last time I felt this way was in 2005 and early 2006. Now they are coming back to haunt me.

Just last night, I cried to Switchfoot's "Twenty-Four" song to sleep. You know, those out-of-blue kind of tears... It's not even because of how I did my exam yesterday. Just that... I suddenly realised that it's not completely over. Those feelings that I desperately want to forget and conceal with other so-called positive things still exist. They didn't appear (during f6) because I made sure of myself to not go down the road again, avoiding things that could trigger those emotions, including [maybe], putting efforts in studying. I don't know. This past could have been holding me back now.

All those good things could merely have been illusions. Or beautiful distractions. Or really just temporary, meaningless things.


Come and go...
So... nothing.




I can't believe that this is happening again.



*Nags are the last thing I need right now. Shutting myself off.*

Can you smell that freedom in the air?

No more assignments, no more classes... just those upcoming exam papers left.


I can't wait for Semester 2 to end!



March was a stressful month. March 2010 = Music theory exam + Mid-term exams + Assignments due dates + Group presentations. Sigh. There were happy moments or days but not much.

As March packed his bags to leave & April waited at the door, I thought April will be as nasty as March because they looked the same. I was proven wrong. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, something anti-climax or unexpected happens. Like our SPSS application test that was postponed again last week. Like the French oral test I was supposed to take last Monday but I couldn't because I was sick. There are more... but I can't recall anymore now. The point is, these unexpected events keep happening & they make me smile every time I realise they are happening.


Let's hope that they will keep on happening during exam weeks.
*With luck, I might be utterly diverted ("amused", not "distracted").*



[So far...] I love you, April.