Where to begin...

I wasn't quite sure whether I should have registered for piano practical exam (grade 5) earlier this year. Maybe I thought I could cope with it... Then new semester in university started, and nearing the end, I realised that I was in deep trouble. Kind of. You see.. I didn't perform well for that semester (is expecting the worst for my final exams result)... but I didn't practise well for my piano exam either...

Then, a month before the piano exam, my music school started giving master classes. I usually didn't attend these in the past... but because I'm taking a difficult grade now, I tried being a good student by trying to attend them :P... but it scared me off every week! The first week was only recital... but among my audience was a tough critic. I was given some very tough comments by one of the piano teachers that happened to listen to what I play (played my three pieces very nervously though - not a good combination). Of course I'm aware of my weaknesses - my teacher does too - so I know whatever she said was not entirely baseless. Though it did affected me someway because my teacher seemed to sense it after I told her my how my second week went. 

It's master class for second week where someone will hear us play and give comments & marks (similar to the real exams). I was scared for this too... & because I was reluctant to attend (after what happened before), I reached the music school very late. He was already preparing to leave! Then he noticed me & asked if I was coming for the exam [thing].. Was thinking "Late and very nervous...Oh gosh!!! What am I going to do??" Well.. I was already there.. so might as well just play... but I was really, really nervous! I did some mistakes here and there. After I was done, I said thanks and apologized for my tardiness earlier & was going to leave. Then he asked me to stay... because he's going to talk about my performance. やばい！！！！！ I was waiting for the worst when he suddenly said things like it was well-played and something more similar to that... Inside I was like "Hah? Eh?" lol .. Returned home somewhat dumbfounded. One of my problems was expressing the pieces I play. Of one of the pieces I played, he said it was expressed well... EH?

*BIG SIGH*

Different people have different tastes... I guess (my teacher said the same thing)... I was somewhat in low spirits after the recital but now I know better not to let those harsh comments affect me. 

Exam is next week... haven't finished mastering those scales & contrary motion scales yet *panics*... But at least, this week, I finally nailed down the part where I have to sight-sing (nice skills to have/improve on btw)... I was surprised that this is included in the aural section months earlier (but maybe I shouldn't be surprised?? - I missed quite a lot by skipping grades 3 & 4)...

頑張れ、あたし！