Sep
16
Posted in:
2009 posts
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Delayed Rebellious Phase (Cringeworthy)
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In Arrogant Mode
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Life
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Personal Thoughts
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University
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University: Year 1
Title inspired by Demi Lovato’s “Catch Me”. It’s a really nice song. You should listen to it!
Many things had happened since my last post. Mostly mundane things. Haha. Somehow, I don’t want to admit that I’m busy ‘cos that’s the most lame excuse one can give when they didn’t update their blog.
Anyway. I had mid-terms exams for some of my courses… and mostly I didn’t feel good about it. *sigh*
I have yet to defeat Procrastination. Huh. Lately, I’ve been feeling that Time is taking revenge on me. I didn’t use it wisely, and now it seems like everything is falling on me… “Are you done with this assignment?”, “Have you send the draft to the lecturer yet?” Bla bla bla. Of course, it’s nothing worse like my Ethics ex-group.
I can’t keep doing this. Need to do something. Fast.
Is it too late to figure out what kind of student I am, my best way of studying, & balancing time between work and play etc..? In the past, I would be afraid to know the answer. Following what works for others didn’t work for me in form 4/5 (it backfired too). I like to learn things. If possible, I want to know at least a bit of every knowledge in this world. But because of my interest in everything, I can get easily distracted. Being organized doesn’t seem to agree with me. Or maybe I am the one who refuse to be organized. Awww… See. I don’t know how to manage my studying self.
Before, in Form 6, I always study (or revise) whenever I have time. That means the time available between classes (where teachers come and go), but in the end… I feel that I didn’t accomplish anything at all. What’s worst was it’s sending wrong messages to other people. People (may) had thought I looked hardworking and diligent but actually I wasn’t. During those time, I always feel tired… & looking at Biology notes or Maths formulae just made it worst. Like it or not, I study according to my moods. *sigh*
When I pay attention and focus to something I’m studying, I think it’s not because I’m hardworking – it’s because I’m obsessed to know things. I like to have fun with the facts, formulae (or anything!)… or make fun of it (bad!) ‘cos I can understand and remember them better that way!
I’m afraid it’s too weird compared to other people’s way of studying. I have to think of a way (or ways) to manipulate my bad habits to my advantage. I know it can be done. I just need to figure them out and… always go with my curiosity side (or whatever that is). Let’s see what will happen then.
Oh, yeah. My early plan to look stupid isn’t working well. Foolish, I know. I just want to see how it will turn out. It’s fine for a while until the “Ethics” group incident. I wasn’t like my usual self. I hate, hate, & hate(!!) certain people in the group and I wasn’t afraid to show it to them. I couldn’t stand working with them… those low-class minded creatures. (woo.. blue=evil-me)
I know they’re chasing the As’… Funny how I ended resenting people like this now (considering I was like that or almost in secondary school). Kiasu. As expected from their kinds. But with their level, I don’t think they should even think of dreaming high. They think they are ‘the best’ already and doesn’t need to change their way of thinking and attitude. Despicable.
Oh, yes. They can make you crazy or stupid like them. In short, it's degrading for your mind to be with them. Avoid at any costs.
All these arrogant remarks won’t do me good.. but for now, I just want to let this out.
i'm sorry but... try reflecting this phrase on your ownself "They think they are ‘the best’ already and doesn’t need to change their way of thinking and attitude. Despicable." i'm not trying to make you feel bad but... try to think if you are the "They" in this matter. and it is your team-mate that wrote this sentence. do you think, you as the "They", that, the writer is right? and try your best to stop wearing mask. if you're smart, you're smart. you don't have to pretend to be something else. maybe you don't need to show around that you are smart but you don't have to act like you're stupid. and yes. don't be arrogant. i know you were angry when you wrote this post but, i hope in your future paper project or groupwork, you'll get along well with the rest of your team-mate.
"None of us is as smart as all of us. "
~ Ken Blanchard
besides, you'll meet those "low-class minded creatures" around your campus right. try to be in good term with everyone. and i mean anyone. i mean well, take care.
"No one can whistle a symphony. It takes a whole orchestra to play it. "
~ H.E. Luccock
Thank you!!! *It's about time my blog receives building criticisms*
I know when I was typing this post, the contents will be quite provoking... It's like "The blogger is saying other people are stupid, does she realise that she might be stupid as well?..." *sigh* (I'm biased to my conditions because this is, after all, my blog)
Well, I did try putting myself in their shoes. It was painful. I see that I could be in the wrong too, but it didn't lessen the anger I was feeling. Apparently, the group has a major miscommunication problem... And yes, blame the leader (me) if you want to.
I never had problems as worse as this with my groups in the past. Maybe I was mad because I asked for a second chance but they didn't want to give me. From my point of view, the way the "certain people" treated me clearly meant "You failed as a leader so I don't have to respect you anymore." That was painful too.
Okay, that might not justify my calling other people stupid... but I always keep in mind that what I call others is also what I [should] call myself. So rest assured. I know I'm a stupid, arrogant person.
hello. i came back to this blog site as i was afraid i would have offended you by my clueless remark. no, no. i did not even have the slightest intention of criticizing you. nonetheless, dear,don't call yourself a stupid arrogant person. say it this way- i don't want to be a stupid arrogant person or, i should have acted smarter and more humble. try to put it that way. never condemn your own self. because, when you've got nobody else in this world, besides God, you will only have your own self. and you must learn to love yourself. for, if you hate you, it will not be a happy journey to live. and it is always nice to remember that, when you feel like nobody cares or love you in this world(when there are many of them who actually do so but it is only you who do not realize it), besides God that is, you could smile and be 'rest assured' that, there is a second person that loves you.
you.
Oh, not really. I talked to my parents during those time and actually my mum said something similar to what you said. ^_^
Good advice is harsh to the ears but it exists for a reason. I may appear to disregard them but I remember them for the future-me. Yes, I can be stubborn at times... *blushes*.. but I wouldn't let go advice that would help create a better me. So thank you... :-)