Sigh. Another exam paper tomorrow... & I don't feel like studying("cramming") anymore.

UPU results are out and my sister's... Not good. After piano class today, my parents had started talking about Form 6 for her. Curtin's foundation is just too.. pricey. Kinda hard to imagine my sister being in Form 6 though.

I love my Form 6 years. They seem to make up for what I'd missed in Form 4 & 5 (my black years)... F6 : happy moments. Not-so-happy moments. I remember some.. forgotten some already. But one thing that's keep getting back to me (even now) - my efforts. My almost non-existent efforts.

After I received my SPM result, I rejected every offer I got because I wanted to be in F6 so badly. So, so, so badly. Then I was happy when I finally got into a school that accepted my SPM result.... But in the end, my STPM results (plural, b'cos I took twice).. were also SO bad. What a shame.

Anyway. Have you ever heard about "Deep Procrastination"? I just read about this article today and I realize it's that kind of procrastination that I had in Form 6... and still have now. Bleh. Not that labeling the problem helps me to solve it. But that's the first important step I guess. This part rang true for me :

A student suffering from deep procrastination will delay important work to an excessive degree. He won’t start studying until late the night before or will delay paper writing until the sun is about the rise. After a while, he might begin to chronically miss deadlines, and find himself constantly negotiating with professors about extensions. (Source : Study Hacks)

I realized how serious this was when I was doing Ethics assignment last semester. And also for this semester (2nd), almost for all assignments... particularly Language and Communication's. I was aware of the datelines and all, but I couldn't make myself do anything to complete those assignments. Sometimes it seems like I don't care about them at all.

...
Break's over. Must find more info on this deep procrastination issue...