A lot of things had happened since my previous post. 

I did, on two different occasions, ignored  and pretended not to see あくま. The first one was when my friends and I walked past the lecturers' parking area. Coincidentally, he was just about to leave -I saw his car- & I just kept on walking. I could hear some car honking behind me. It was him alright... but I didn't bother looking back anymore, thinking he was calling out to my friend, F-san. Then my other friend called my name. He wanted to meet me too it seems... He asked me about my final year project (I think it was because I didn't submit a title and supervisor's name & he knew about it through their meeting). The other one was when F-san & I went to the our school's general office. He was checking his lecturer-mailbox. I walked on as if he wasn't there. Of course, my childish side considers these as achievements XD

Moving on.. Last week I came upon the realization that the depression I think I had during my SPM years might have develop to something worse. The symptoms fit with the things I did & felt post-2007... It was kind of more noticeable nowadays (which prompted me to look up on the symptoms online last week). I dare not think it would be true... but if it IS true, then it would explain why I behave like I do now. You know, I thought I got better during form 6 when I started looking forward to tomorrows and not think of sleeping eternally and hoping that I never wake up anymore... I never really did (or do) think of deaths though.. just some kind of comatose state (if you notice, I seem to contradict myself years ago..hmm)... I actually believe that there are things I can look forward to in the future &  what I experience now is only temporary...