Posted in:
2012 posts
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Delayed Rebellious Phase (Cringeworthy)
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Ohno Satoshi 大野智
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University: Final Year Project
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University: Year 3
Few weeks left until the day the first episode of Kagi will be aired...! *excited*
SIGH.
For two weeks (or maybe three), I thought of doing something important every Wednesday (the class is held every Wednesday morning - I was always reminded of it). Yesterday, finally, I made the decision. Yes, yes, yes... I have every reasons I can think of to justify my actions. Why can't I continue if everyone else is doing fine?
I can't do it because I'm not "everyone else".
I can't do it because of what I am.
A practical, selfish perfectionist.
Gosh. I know it's not the time to take a luxurious option like this. But if I don't do this, I think... I think... I would not survive for other similar important things. I need to stay sane or I'll shut down & won't care about doing my best for my final exam/G5 piano exam.
... and. As expected, programming assignments/homework take a lot of my time this semester. What makes it worse is the fact that my programming skills aren't the best... I can spend hours (e.g 4 hours *true story*) on a problem & still I can't think of the solution. Recent programming assignment had me sleep-deprived & worried for the whole week. I'm very terrified of the class. I have even started having weird dreams & nightmares now.
As if it can't get worse... things escalated even more. I heard from my friend today that the supervisor I was hoping to get might not accept any students now. What a let-down. The lecturer sounded like she doesn't expect much from a Math major... moreover, she is more into programming stuff... Of course, I'm aware of it... but I don't think I could fit in with other lecturers... or even other topics.
The only thing I can do now is do some online research on the topics I have interest in... before the semester ends... so that I can show her (or maybe other lecturers?)... & if necessary, beg her to accept me XD
This is how future looks like now...
Removed dead link to image.