-----
Originally posted on Thursday, May 24, 2007 in my old blog
~This is the last post (from 'there') I'm adding to this blog~
-----

What a terrible week. God, let me forget whatever had happened this week (& what will happen tomorrow). Amen.

Wow. It's going to be June already next week.

Ahhh. Yesterday I heard something very disturbing about my BIO teacher. He said something about us being arrogant to the lower sixth-formers... Well, actually this is a small matter only.. maybe it was unintentional.. but the person who first broke the news to us made it seem so negative... (added with the embarrassing incident where my friend & I kena halau from the orientation room when he was to give taklimat on his subject => giving me the impression that he's going to say something we wouldn't want to hear.).. STILL.. it's nothing big, but it ruined my day. I don't blame the teacher. He gave us time to prove to him that we can cope with the subject yet we haven't showed much improvement throughout this year. But it's still painful.

And today I sat for my [mock] MUET speaking test (we are going to take the year-end MUET)--- IT WAS PATHETIC. Disastrous. Tragic. What the hell was I thinking??! I didn't talk much. I can't find anything to say about "peer pressure". We lacked of chemistry in group discussion. Stupid me! I was very, very nervous since yesterday... My heart even beated so fast before I fall asleep.. & I kept thinking & thinking about the BIO thingy... Yes. Stupid me, again!

Well, I've said enough. Let's just move on with life.


Hmmm..
The funny thing is.. what happened made me see that life is fun & unpredictable. I think my MUET teachers expected something good from me BUT I messed things up. I [do] can be unpredictable at times. (Although this 'unpredictable' is something teachers would call 'inconsistency'...) Maybe I don't want to be left alone even after I have learnt how to walk because I still want some attentions from them. How childish of me..

Life is full of ups & downs, that's why it is unpredictable. And those unpredictable things makes life fun because you'll never know for sure what will happen to you in the future.. Why do you have to worry about the future & not the present time where you'll be shaping up your future? Life is always enjoyable even at undesirable times.

Imagine that you only have a few months more to live.. What will you do before you leave this world? Surely (if it's me) I'll do things I never did before (think positively, please) which I'll regret if I don't do it now before it's too late. And by thinking this way, I appreciate life even more..(Life is also short & vulnerable, don't you agree?)..

Okay, the main point is: Although I didn't do well this time, I believe I can do better next time. I just have to practise more & overcome this shyness which unable me to speak english. Also. I must NOT care TOO MUCH about what teachers say or will say about our weaknesses (or whatever). That was what made me went down during those SPM years.


Ruth, FIGHTING!





Why didn't I say this much during that MUET test??

0 comments