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Originally posted on Sunday, December 11, 2005 in my old blog
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I've watched it again. I don't know why, when I'm feeling unhappy I just feel like watching the last eps of QDAQH.

My grandpa died this morning. & now both my grandpas are not in the world anymore, leaving my grandmas alone. & it's the first time I saw my mum cried this morning (because it was her dad who has died). We visited him at the kampong yesterday & he still looked fine to me that time. Although I have a strange feeling in my heart. My aunt said it was hard to understand what he's(grandpa) talking lately, like as if he could not talk properly anymore. That should have serve as a sign, we should have seen & felt it...... & my relatives in Tawau was planning to go there today which I'm afraid they are too late to meet him before he go...

I'm not really close to him but deaths really affect me very much since I watched QDAQH. Do we really have to go through deaths of our loved ones in our life? Frankly speaking, I'm getting scared of deaths. When our loved ones are dead, that means we can't speak to him anymore, we can't hear his voice anymore, we can't see him anymore, we can't....

In Gokusen, Kuma had a fight with his father before his father died the day later. He didn't even have the chance to say sorry to his father. I'm afraid sth like that would happen

& when the Prime Minister's wife died, I also feel somewhat sad as if she's a part of our family.

Does this mean I can't accept death as a natural thing anymore in the future?

I don't know.




side note on QDAQH:
*I noticed that after the scene Yi Qian stabbed En Qi, where En Qi mysteriously appeared at the hospital telling Xiao Tong "It will be alright." there's a sound like a patient's bed being pushed behind the scene. I was wondering if that is En Qi's body that went past Xiao Tong who was sleeping. & he asked her not to worry; that Yao Xiang will see the sunlight tomorrow as if he has already known he will. He seems knew that his heart will be 'taken out' to let Yao Xiang lives.........
*& it has long bothers me that what Xiao Tong's action in the end really means. She will continue living alone without Yao Xiang(doesn't want to follow what En Qi wanted) until she's old & died? Or is she planning a suicide? (so that explains why Yao Xiang felt the pain in his chest-En Qi knows what Xiao Tong plans to do.....) Hard to accept. Well, it's only a thought of mine, doesn't really means anything.
*Oh yeah, another thing(non-related to QDAQH)---I think Yang Si Lang could be saved if his brother makes it in time to find him. I've seen people in ancient serials that were shot by an arrow (or more) still survive to the end of the serial..except if the arrow shot by the old man is poisoned (why did an old man still working as a soldier??? He must have guard that place for a long time that his arrow had rusted already...so.... tetanus? & about Yu Yan, I think she could be dead too cos she was not supposed to go out in the cold weather (it will be hazardous to her health)...so if we take the idea that Si Lang died because of the rusted arrow & Yu Yan died because she went out, then both is not lonely anymore because they both died together.


It's death all over today...........

no besto today........

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