Still in cranky mood since I woke up. I managed to sleep earlier last night so I'm feeling less like a zombie today. A thought came to me after I woke up. Yeah, so actually I got something like a stomachache and nausea when I was about to sleep. But in the morning, that uncomfortable feeling is gone. So I began to suspect if I'm stressed out by Christmas events that's coming soon...? There aren't that much really but the thought of having to meet so, so, so many people stresses me out.

In primary school, for music classes (which didn't really teach much music stuff other than just singing), we usually had singing recital of some sort in the end of the year. We can pick any songs from our music textbook (a songbook of local, folk or children songs, if I remember it correctly) and perform the song in front of everyone in class. That stressed me out, seriously. I'm actually quite shy when I was little...I think.. so singing in front of the class was something really, really hard for me to do. I remember once where we were told it would be held tomorrow and I got home worried.... until I got a stomachache. I don't remember what exactly but it wasn't due to food poisoning... probably too much gas in the gut?  And I ended up not going to school the next day (but I think it got postponed anyway so I probably didn't get out of singing lol). Years later then only I started thinking that stomachache might be stress-induced.

OMG! Do I have a weak digestive system? When I started working in 2017, I would always worry about getting stomachaches. I would always get bloated stomach... probably due to work stress..? What.. why do I only realise this now? Come to think of it, I had a really bad case of food poisoning in Primary 1. I remember that I already seen the doctor and got my medicine.. but every time I eat, I would throw up everything (probably including the medicine) out later... I don't know how long was that but I ended up hospitalised overnight, hooked up to an IV drip (I don't know what for though).. So it has been weak for so long???

Anyway. So, one of the events is happening tonight and like.. it's just eating dinner why am I so stressed out now.. uurgghh probably won't eat much. I have learnt to not eat or eat less when I was still working to lessen the probability of getting bloated. I still eat now out of necessity (that's sooo weird to type out and I'm making it the title of this post :P) but there are times where I'm not interested in eating.. I can even get stressed out if the portion of food I got (in restaurants) are too big because I can't finish it.