Back to blogging!

Continuing my blog from "LiFe In SaBaH" (which is closed to public), this new blog was created because I'm moving to a new phase of life. In my opinion, having "Life In Sabah" as a blog title seems to give the impression that I'll always be in Sabah (whereas I actually do have wishes & dreams to study abroad)

I chose "Fighting for Life" as the title and use "fight-oh" in the blogspot url to remind me I still have to fight hard to reach my ambitions. Yankumi always say "Fight-Oh" (faito..Oh!) in Gokusen which somewhat motivates me whenever I watch Gokusen.

I like this template. I got it from here. Got some problems at the beginning with the images but I managed to get it right in the end. So far no problem... What I really like is the highlighted links (I've always want that but didn't have time to learn how).

Another new thing - Besides me blogging, I'll have the other-me blog too. Who's other-me you ask? I'm not crazy, but other-me is an attempt to expose the "evil" or "opposite" side of me. When I am thinking, I often look at the positive and negative sides of things that sometimes I end up imagining silly and stupid things in my head. It's like the small angel-devil appearing in cartoons that says,"Do it," & "No, don't do it."

The other-me can be seen in blue.

Quoting some words from my 1st blog post in LiFe In SaBaH...

Saturday, February 05, 2005
This is my first post...
why I decided to create my own blog site---to throw in all my thoughts which nobody wants to hear.

I still have that objective for this blog.
I really hate how people expect you to listen to what they say, but when I turn to them, they won't listen to whatever I say. I find it rude and often, I feel offended by these acts. But maybe I'm at fault too. I think I'm lack of communication skills (which I'm trying to improve on now)... But, they should learn to listen more than talk! That's why we have two ears and not two mouths. (A teacher in school said this during assembly)

Oh yeah, I also changed my display name to Ru.Ru. A close friend gave me that nickname last year.
Edit 2021-03-05: Just realised that this need an update. I've changed it to RuYanda since then.

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Originally posted on Sunday, April 22, 2007 in my old blog
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Can't believe it's almost a month after I last updated my blog...

So many things to tell.. All would be told in random order...

Firstly, we had "Majlis Anugerah etc etc" last Monday.. I almost forgot that this kind of things exist in school.. & I got the highest marks for Maths, MUET & BIO(! Tian ah!) for last year's exam (I think.).. How embarassing! It's not that high....!!!!! Not really sth to be proud of...

Last week, there was a SNAKE in our classroom! (LOL.. funnily, it was spotted near our class's trash can, a trash-filled trash can.) It was small but enough to scare me off my ecological project site (it was at the back of our class)! Good thing we finished everything & what's left was to remove the line transects (Done that already).

Had an argument with mum a few days ago. It was early in the morning. It's a misunderstanding. But that's not the point. I was SO mad that she misjudged me, that I walked into my class with tears in my eyes. I didn't care if my classmates saw me in such an ugly situation, at that time I really feel geram... I didn't know what they think of me.. I went outside & sat on a bench, trying to calm myself. It was the first time such thing happened to me in school. But I felt somewhat moved by my classmates care. They went to see me & asked what's the matter. I silented. But later on I opened up to some friends who stayed over. They told about their stories (regarding family matters) & we had some relieving laughs later on. It was a horrible morning, but thanks to them, my day was not really affected by the incidence (managed to focus on teacher).. Form 6 doesn't seem to be just Form 6 to me since then.. All fourteen of us are like family... Maybe the fact that our tables were arranged in a U shape enable us to look at each other more closer than before. (Teachers seem closer too... easier to ask them Qs now.) I would never want to lose contact with my f6 classmates.

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Originally posted on Sunday, January 28, 2007 in my old blog
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Feeling blurry last week...

Aish... I get "blurred" a lot during Chemistry classes... Not that it's hard to understand, but.. scientific concepts are slow to digest at times..

Anyway. New things in our class last week - we re-painted the class in green + yellow & we have our own computer! It was Mr. K.Ng (Guru Pakar) intentions to put one in our class for Biology class use. But, of course, [we,] being fun-loving early adults, the computer would be used illegally by us as a source of entertainment!

I would copy some STPM trial/exam/test papers I found on the net to the computer. I think it would help us a lot in the future.

Oh yeah. I went to a seminar (with a friend) on Kursk State Medical University (KSMU) last Thursday in Promenade at NIGHT! I wonder why it was held that late~ Well, KSMU is recognised in Malaysia (See article: Make sure the colleges are recognised here). It went well. They gave a somewhat detailed information about the university & also the processes (presentation by the agent - Magaram Enterprise or ME). There's an emphasise on safety; eg. students must always let their parents know about their whereabouts, call them when they reached there... They even gave an example about those who went to Europe without telling their parents (on holidays) which made the parents worry (who called the ME later on to ask them)..it could be a chaotic situation I think..So the ME doesn't want that to happen.

My friend is interested in furthering her studies in Russia for Medicine after STPM. I hope the seminar helped her a lot.

Last week was also the week for Kokum's Mesyuarat Agung... I joined St. John Ambulance & Netball club. It's the first time I knew about St. John Ambulance (INTERESTING!). Lok Yuk (my last school) doesn't have this (which is a pity)...

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Originally posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006 in my old blog
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*sigh...* so many things happened during the day I was absent from blogging...

I'll just start my post today about my final exams.

I really had a bad experience answering science subjectS papers during f4 & f5. Many questions (particularly structure & essay ones) were left unanswered. & yes. I did the same in SPM. But I managed to answer some of questions (SPM), though... *laughs bitterly* no wonder I got Cs for all my science subjectS.

Anyway, this time... I've prepared specially for BIO. I've read, understood, & looked for potential questions that the teacher might use (he said essay questions will come from the Bio LONGMAN).. & wah.. the questions I predicted.. all came out. Coincidentally & fortunately, I studied (& somewhat memorise) the answers beforehand.. So..it came out all naturally... muntah(vomitted) all the keywords & important points...

For the first time in my life, ...I feel good handing in my BIO 2 answer paper(s). At that time, I also feel satisfied because I know I've worked hard for this. Well, not hard enough but still better than before.

I'm somewhat more comfortable learning BIO in english rather than in BM. I don't know why. yeah, I admit that it seems harder (I'd learnt science in BM since primary school). But I still feel it's somewhat convenient.

& we're going to start that insect & plant collection soon... I'm so excited about it but at the same time feel nervous cos I'm going to work in group with new ppl.. & insects. I'm not sure if I can handle the insects. After this Raya holiday, we'll learn how to preserve it first.

& also this. I never like getting shots but this is important. *sigh* .. ai.. 3 doses... mati-lah (._.)

Had an interview during exam. School Prefect Interview. The interview made me feel so useless.I'm just not fit to become a prefect because I have NO leadership value & I have NO experience. & *ah* coincidentally, I don't like the interviewer (a teacher, never had a good impression about him since I first saw him). & to make it worse, I was REALLY in a BAD MOOD that day. LOL.. we had our class photo taken the very same day. *AH* I'm not smiling perfectly in the photo! Stupid bad mood!

Well.. back to the interview... it seems that my jawatanS in kokum (form 5) counts.. & my being good at using computers... also another point. BUT I think I'm not going to make it. The truth is, I rather be a librarian (but I'm not sure if that's counted as kokum activities). I'm not a prefect material. I know that. That hated interviewer made me feel like that way. I hope I'M NOT CHOSEN. I really, really hope.

Why is it "becoming a prefect" counted as an "involving in kokum" activity anyway? Has the definition of kokum change after I get into form 6, or is it that what I learnt all this years about kokum being "activities outside classroom" is totally wrong?

Please don't mind my whinings.. there's a better explanation for this here.

The problem is, I don't even know if I can participate in other club or PERSATUAN other than Persatuan Tingkatan 6 & this prefect thing. The best thing I can do (among all...) is playing netball. I've represented my secondary school before (although we only got fourth)...in form 2, but that was ancient history...

Is participation in kokum-ish clubs outside school counts?

ARGGH. It's mainly for local university entry requirement anyway. I'm aiming for overseas universities. Why bother much?



p/s: Okay before anyone gets noisy... yeah, I know I seem don't care about this kokum thing, but believe me: I'm *still* trying to get involved seriously.

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Originally posted on Sunday, June 25, 2006 in my old blog
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In addition to this post: from ReCom.org forum "STPM or matriks?" and "Question of Furthering Studies in STPM"

*sigh* Now, I shouldn't look at my classmates as rivals (that's what I'd done last year.. No good attitude).. because my biggest, toughest rival is MYSELF.

...

So far, only BIO, MATHS T (pure mathematics), and MUET has started...

All teachers are "acceptable". Haha.

Being in SM〇〇 bring backs memories in Primary School.. teachers doesn't expect too much from you - hence, less pressure (but they'll come, I know it) - , they teach with considerable patience - cos that's the only thing they can do -... The environment is just perfect to make me study.. (I've began "warming up" with the others...)

Knowing that we might be shy to ask teacher questions, my BIO teacher came up with the idea of making a small "whiteboard" for us to write on... we just have to raise that thing up when needed... pretty convenient, eh? ...But this could be a disadvantage too - no chance to practise speaking english -

Speaking of speaking in English, a-ah~ I still have that problem. I can't get that english words out of my mouth. Ah, bother! (I admire my MUET teacher!! His english was not that perfect [although he studied in England b4] but he speaks with confidence... really envy him!)

Our Maths teacher is a bit weird.. but I think I can live with that.. shouldn't forget that life is no fun without fun. It's not all about studying hard. Should smile and laugh at times... (which reminds me-- I have a smiling problem! I can't smile! *nya!*)

..........

& forget about Physics. I'm so bad at it. The Maths teacher pointed out that those who are good in Maths doesn't necessarily will be good in Physics (*here's an interesting thread on this matter). I'm one of them. No matter how much I like Physics [because of some childish reasons: [1] I like Mr. Ooi (my physics teacher in SM〇〇.. & FYI, not thhhaaat kind of "like"). [2] Physics is one of Alec Su's favourite subjects (he also likes Maths & Chemistry.... which I also like..)  [3] Ueda is a physicist. (Besto! I'm a BIG fan of the Trick series!)].. I just can't do it for this time being. Maybe I'll self-study it in the future (oh well, I do have one un-childish reason. I like to know how this world works. I've always think about this kind of thing when I was little.) But really, not now.


p/s: Kurosagi... finished.... already....

Cut!

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Originally posted on Sunday, December 11, 2005 in my old blog
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I've watched it again. I don't know why, when I'm feeling unhappy I just feel like watching the last eps of QDAQH.

My grandpa died this morning. & now both my grandpas are not in the world anymore, leaving my grandmas alone. & it's the first time I saw my mum cried this morning (because it was her dad who has died). We visited him at the kampong yesterday & he still looked fine to me that time. Although I have a strange feeling in my heart. My aunt said it was hard to understand what he's(grandpa) talking lately, like as if he could not talk properly anymore. That should have serve as a sign, we should have seen & felt it...... & my relatives in Tawau was planning to go there today which I'm afraid they are too late to meet him before he go...

I'm not really close to him but deaths really affect me very much since I watched QDAQH. Do we really have to go through deaths of our loved ones in our life? Frankly speaking, I'm getting scared of deaths. When our loved ones are dead, that means we can't speak to him anymore, we can't hear his voice anymore, we can't see him anymore, we can't....

In Gokusen, Kuma had a fight with his father before his father died the day later. He didn't even have the chance to say sorry to his father. I'm afraid sth like that would happen

& when the Prime Minister's wife died, I also feel somewhat sad as if she's a part of our family.

Does this mean I can't accept death as a natural thing anymore in the future?

I don't know.




side note on QDAQH:
*I noticed that after the scene Yi Qian stabbed En Qi, where En Qi mysteriously appeared at the hospital telling Xiao Tong "It will be alright." there's a sound like a patient's bed being pushed behind the scene. I was wondering if that is En Qi's body that went past Xiao Tong who was sleeping. & he asked her not to worry; that Yao Xiang will see the sunlight tomorrow as if he has already known he will. He seems knew that his heart will be 'taken out' to let Yao Xiang lives.........
*& it has long bothers me that what Xiao Tong's action in the end really means. She will continue living alone without Yao Xiang(doesn't want to follow what En Qi wanted) until she's old & died? Or is she planning a suicide? (so that explains why Yao Xiang felt the pain in his chest-En Qi knows what Xiao Tong plans to do.....) Hard to accept. Well, it's only a thought of mine, doesn't really means anything.
*Oh yeah, another thing(non-related to QDAQH)---I think Yang Si Lang could be saved if his brother makes it in time to find him. I've seen people in ancient serials that were shot by an arrow (or more) still survive to the end of the serial..except if the arrow shot by the old man is poisoned (why did an old man still working as a soldier??? He must have guard that place for a long time that his arrow had rusted already...so.... tetanus? & about Yu Yan, I think she could be dead too cos she was not supposed to go out in the cold weather (it will be hazardous to her health)...so if we take the idea that Si Lang died because of the rusted arrow & Yu Yan died because she went out, then both is not lonely anymore because they both died together.


It's death all over today...........

no besto today........

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Originally posted on Sunday, August 07, 2005 in my old blog
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hmmmm........still have fever & headache since yesterday....

I think I got chicken pox....(like my brother)....

weeks of staying at home...looking from the bright side--I'll have more time to surf the net & DL things~~

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Originally posted on Sunday, May 01, 2005 in my old blog
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Oh....it's the scene where they met for the last time.....

Gif not available (It's from QDAQH Eps 39). Dead PB account.

xIaO tOnG: [she drew a heart on the dusted window~actually it's the way both of them tell each other 'I love you'] I give you my support... Where's mine? (heart)

eN qI: [he looked around] I can't draw it for you here (no dusted place to draw ma.. .)... Let me owe you first... I'll give one tonight at home.

xIaO tOnG: [a bit disappointed yet...] Don't forget your promise!... See you at night!

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This was actually a long post including some translated news on the filming of 刁蛮公主 (Bratty Princess)... But there's too many images and I don't have time to arrange all those here...