It seems like my piano exam result was out last Monday...? Did I remember the wrong date?... AH. I can only wait till my class this coming Sunday to know. *sigh*

Regarding my final exam results for last semester... well... it wasn't bad... from my point of view... I finally passed one of the subjects I failed few semesters ago. But I failed the other class again *omigosh. I just laughed to myself after I typed that out XD*... Forgive me if I sound unrepentant. It's shameful indeed. But I have totally lost any interest in what I'm studying. I seriously thought of switching programs/majors after I saw my exam result..  man. I even thought of quitting!

I decided not to in the end because it would be very bothersome & wasteful. 

*BIG SIGH* 

Actually I knew it was going to be like that... Arghh. I hate the thoughts of taking classes with Dr A again. .............................................

Anyway.. now I'm worried about my final year project. I actually had interest in random numbers (totally no idea under what subtopic this is under though)... But after the few hours of thinking of switching & quitting, I think that topic is too hard for me too handle... it's also very risky considering my lack of motivation. 

The only thing I'm interested in doing now is my music theory (my piano teacher have the same thing in mind with me - Grade 5's Theory exam instead of Grade 4's!)... so predictably, it led me to thinking of doing research on mathematics & music. But...I don't know where to start! Which lecturer to consult with? What topic? *the worst thing is I can already imagine Dr A smirking like a ドS during viva/progress presentation because this topic isn't as good as what his field can offer. URGHH.* Ha......... I should start reading articles regarding this. The least I can do is find some info before I meet my mentor. This too... I can already imagine her nagging why I didn't do better last semester & maybe... how will I find work later with these not-so-bright results.. huh. *evil smirk*... ah.. but I can answer this if it ever come up. "I'm really, really, REALLY not interested in Math. But even with these mediocre results, I want to be able to graduate." "... I can always be a piano teacher if I want to... because I CAN."

....

Somewhat... I'm beginning to think that I'm going to start talking back at my lecturers next semester (Oh gosh!!)... student with bad attitudes in the making? Have to admit... I've gone from hating what I study to hating everyone related to what I study.

I'm grateful that I didn't get a PTPTN loan.  

I'm grateful that I take up piano lessons again four years ago.

I'm grateful that I took piano & music theory exams.