Blabbers #2
I miss school life. Somewhat. *makes a thinking face* I think.

My siblings are having their exams these few weeks... I [mostly] am worried about my brother who is in Form 2. He doesn't seem to like school. I like school. It's a bliss to be able to go to school. Knowledge is power. Anyway, back to my brother... Okay, I think he's more interested in other kind of knowledge. Who wouldn't think so? He's always on the computer before and after going to school. It's rare to see him studying or do his homework. Yeah. Maybe he's doing it secretly and I shouldn't assume things...but when something bugs me, it will always bugs me if it hasn't been solved. So I'm a busybody! Try stopping me then! Okay... back to the topic (again).. I'll understand if he isn't interested in studying but.. I hope he manage to finish at least till SPM level. He said he wants to open a computer shop. I secretly think that if he wants to be a good one he should take a degree in computer-related courses. (Of course I don't know the details, it's only my 2 cents.) That means he should be in science stream then. Now. He doesn't even seem interested to do well in PMR (I'm assuming again.) How could he possibly enter science stream??? But to think of it, economy stream is quite suitable too. *STOP!*

Saying all these aren't going to change anything if he still slacks in his studies.


My sister... I think she's going to be alright. I didn't have the privilege to ask anyone close during my f4/f5 aka "Black Years"... So I'm going to be that person to her. Sort of. Most of the time, I just give her some advice and gives her the impression that it's okay to not be perfect. I want to help her cope with her f4/f5 years so that she'll not end up like me. Even now, I still avoid thinking about the me at that time. I don't even remember much about those days.



Huh... just another thought in blabber format.

I'd had chats over the phone for these few months with a close friend of mine (We'll call her Mel). We did something, well, this thing I would call, terrible, and we had a hard time forgiving ourselves. Especially last month, I guess.
"Why did we let it happened?"
"How are you doing now?"
"Still..."
Then we'll talk for hours about our misery and thoughts.

The worst time has passed and I don't find it surprising that we are still alive. Do anyone notice how we often dread ourselves with unnecessary fears before something bad happened?... hoping that the world will split and swallow you up or you suddenly drop dead (literally) on that inauspicious moment... And then when it really happen, nothing really happened. You are still breathing. It didn't kill you. Of course, unless you have a bad heart.

Lesson of the day: Whatever happened, good or bad, we will still have to move on. So stop dwelling in the past.

Anyway. Mel and I might go on different roads... She's taking a step further while I... I'm stepping on an extra road before hers. I wish all the best for her.

I'm tired of worrying about what others say about me. They are just throwing words and advice and the person who picks them all, thinking it's important, is just making himself a fool. I'm not talking about someone. It's just something I had in my head for a long time.

Dakara, I won't care about what people [will] say about my extra road. This is a fight with myself and I'm determined to win over myself.

I detest myself.

I don't know where I got this, but it meant a lot to me.

"Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
And today is a gift,
That's why it's called the present."