First week in school [after lessons started]

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Originally posted on Sunday, June 25, 2006 in my old blog
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In addition to this post: from ReCom.org forum "STPM or matriks?" and "Question of Furthering Studies in STPM"

*sigh* Now, I shouldn't look at my classmates as rivals (that's what I'd done last year.. No good attitude).. because my biggest, toughest rival is MYSELF.

...

So far, only BIO, MATHS T (pure mathematics), and MUET has started...

All teachers are "acceptable". Haha.

Being in SM〇〇 bring backs memories in Primary School.. teachers doesn't expect too much from you - hence, less pressure (but they'll come, I know it) - , they teach with considerable patience - cos that's the only thing they can do -... The environment is just perfect to make me study.. (I've began "warming up" with the others...)

Knowing that we might be shy to ask teacher questions, my BIO teacher came up with the idea of making a small "whiteboard" for us to write on... we just have to raise that thing up when needed... pretty convenient, eh? ...But this could be a disadvantage too - no chance to practise speaking english -

Speaking of speaking in English, a-ah~ I still have that problem. I can't get that english words out of my mouth. Ah, bother! (I admire my MUET teacher!! His english was not that perfect [although he studied in England b4] but he speaks with confidence... really envy him!)

Our Maths teacher is a bit weird.. but I think I can live with that.. shouldn't forget that life is no fun without fun. It's not all about studying hard. Should smile and laugh at times... (which reminds me-- I have a smiling problem! I can't smile! *nya!*)

..........

& forget about Physics. I'm so bad at it. The Maths teacher pointed out that those who are good in Maths doesn't necessarily will be good in Physics (*here's an interesting thread on this matter). I'm one of them. No matter how much I like Physics [because of some childish reasons: [1] I like Mr. Ooi (my physics teacher in SM〇〇.. & FYI, not thhhaaat kind of "like"). [2] Physics is one of Alec Su's favourite subjects (he also likes Maths & Chemistry.... which I also like..) [3] Ueda is a physicist. (Besto! I'm a BIG fan of the Trick series!)].. I just can't do it for this time being. Maybe I'll self-study it in the future (oh well, I do have one un-childish reason. I like to know how this world works. I've always think about this kind of thing when I was little.) But really, not now.

p/s: Kurosagi... finished.... already....

Cut!

Time: 2006-06-25T01:35:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: ~Sunday Posts , 2006 posts , Cringy Teenage Years , Old Blog , School: Form 6 , トリック

Proud to be a F6 student

Posted in: ~Friday Posts | 2006 posts | Cringy Teenage Years | Old Blog | School: Form 6

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Originally posted on Friday, June 23, 2006 in my old blog

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After a few weeks in my new school (for F6)... I'm awaken by the fact that Matriculation is JUST a place where you can go after SPM. What I mean is.. it's not like, well, the best, prestigious (or whatever big word you describe it) place you should go to pursue your studies. It just coincidentally happened that many best SPM scorers (9:1=bumi:non-bumi) are "gathered" there, that must be why most parents think that's the best, good, popular place they can send their children to (and brag & show off about it later...*duh*).. & F6 became the place for "rejectS" & most non-bumiS, giving it a somewhat ugly reputation.

Parents should do their homework.

Matrics = 1 year only? No. Wrong. They have 2 years ones too.

I grow up with the idea (influence from my surroundings) that Matrics are better than F6 (which is not really true). Since I'm in form 1, I already set a target that I'll go to Matrics after completing F5. People said F6 is 2 years whereas Matrics is only 1 year. That's why at that time I prefer Matrics to F6. Moreover I was thinking of getting out of school quickly (because since the first day I'm in SM〇〇, I already could feel the tense, stress & tight competition in my class. I could't stand it, & wished that time will run faster so that I can stop suffering). Even when I was in F5, the thought of going to F6 never occurs me.

Then, last year, came a big turn over.

While waiting for SPM results to come out:

Because I didn't study well enough (due to some problems) last year (for SPM), I was afraid that my bad SPM results will affect my admission to matrics (at that time-lah) or any other places (excluding f6) to pursue my ambition (doctor or any other profession in the medical field). So I surfed the internet, looking for info on "where can I go after SPM" (things like that...).. & discovered that STPM is the most suitable way for me. It is also recognised by most universities in the world (UNLIKE MATRICS). Referring to this, (I copied it here):

Local public universities
STPM (Form 6), local matriculation, recognised diplomas from government polytechnics and public universities and university colleges.

Overseas universities
UK, Australia and New Zealand: A Levels, STPM , Australian and Canadian pre-u and matriculation, selected foundation and diploma programmes
US: American Degree Program

Local private universities/colleges
STPM , local matriculation, Australian and Canadian pre-u and matriculation, relevant foundation and diploma programmes

Foreign university branch campuses
STPM , local matriculation, Australian and Canadian pre-u and matriculation, selected foundation and diploma programmes.

It would be easier to go to overseas universities (of course with good results) with STPM certificiate. Of course. You can go to local universities too. (Foreign university branch campuses -- limited options ne?)

& puh-lease...FYI, Australian and Canadian pre-u and matriculation is NOT equal to local matriculation. I remember going to Hyatt Hotel few months ago (for some *what do you call it? short seminar to intoduce their uni?* from Monash University).. There's this friend of my mum's daughter who "graduated" from matrics, 'showing off', saying that I shouldn't go to f6, "It's hard. It's better in matrics. They use this semester system...bla bla bla".. & while she's talking all that craps I can see that "stupid & naive" label on her head. Her father included.. Anyway. The ppl from Monash Uni were stating the qualifications to enter the uni.. & WALA~! In his presentation slide -- No mention of matriculation (only South Australian matriculation). Local matriculation that is. STPM is there but no local matrics. So those ppl with the "S & N" labels on their heads asked.. well, of cos I knew that local matrics is *somewhat recognised* cos that uni is in Malaysia, (can't you tell?) so it not's really a problem for local matics graduates to enter there... but the pleasure of looking at that "undeclared embarrassment" was REALLY GREAT. They think local matrics is SO that great, that they expect that everyone in this world should know about it.

Anyway, back to my school stories... Some teachers said we are lucky to be in form 6.

(I know it sounds like they were just trying to cheer up those that didn't get any offers to uni & matrics)

My Maths T(Pure Mathematics) teacher, Mr. R (he said he was a teacher in matrics b4.. but I'm not really sure) said the maths for STPM are 10x harder than matric's maths. If you get A for matric's maths, it's a D in STPM's Maths T. Also he said that although in matriks you can get [C?]GPA 4.0 easier, they will FACE difficulties later when they enter university.

"So be proud that you are in Form 6."

p/s: Of course, I may sound biased cos I want to believe what I believe. But this really happens. & I'm glad I chose this path.

"First week in school after lessons started" -->>post coming soon.

Time: 2006-06-23T17:17:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: ~Friday Posts , 2006 posts , Cringy Teenage Years , Old Blog , School: Form 6

~ Know What You Want ~

Posted in: ~Monday Posts | 2006 posts | Cringy Teenage Years | Old Blog | School: Form 6

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Originally posted on Monday, June 19, 2006 in my old blog
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Just sth I wrote last week in my green notebook.

* - * - * - * - * - * - * - *
~ Know what you want ~

That's what our *temporary* class teacher said, Mr. K. Ng. (~~going to call him Sir K~~)

I'm right all along! So typical of All Saints teachers.

Hehe... but, so far, I like my teachers. The Pengajian Am (=General Studies?) teacher has a somewhat good sense of humour. Mr K seems easy to talk with.
The first minute I see the teacher, talking in front of the class ~ I know instantly what kind of teacher he/she is. I tell you: Most of them are the 'swindlers' type. What you see outside is not what's inside.
I *do* judge books by its cover.
If I see "evil faces", I'll assume he's bad.
If I see "good faces", I'll assume he's okay.

I believe in "first impression".

But, well, of course I don't "assume" they are like that the rest of my life. People change.The goodie ppl might turn out bad after all. The baddie ppl... ah, you know-lah. I've seen a lot.That What-I-Think-About-Them will change.

So, my impression on ppl around me changes accordingly.

Oh yeah. Mr K asked us: "Why do you want [to do] F6?"

My answer for that is the same with the reason(s) why I need f6 (science stream).

I didn't do well for my SPM.
[Yet I know I can. Because of some stupid "little problems"... I didn't (not can't)]
I've wasted my talents & time for these "little problems" (believe me, you don't wanna know)
I want to "reclaim" what I should get.
I have to show 'them' that they are deadly wrong about me.

# I need f6 b'cos I believe I will not do well in matriks. Being in matriks will just bring back memories in f4/f5... also: 2 many tomodachiS there.... I can't study that way.

I know f6 is hard. But I truly believe this is the best place for me to "fly to my destination".

Don't think you know what's best for me. You are not me. You don't think like I do. You don't know me.

If you don't support my decision. Fine.
But, please at least respect what I've decided.

*fin*

* - * - * - * - * - * - * - *

Why do I eagerly want to score well in STPM? Didn't I despise those "straight-As" students? Why am I *somewhat* becoming (or want to) into one? Isn't it against what I said?

[Think of Kurosagi. Why does Kurosaki became a Kurosagi (black swindler)? He hates sagishiS(swindlers) esp ShirosagiS! ]

I guess the only answer I have would be: I want to show them a failure like me can "become into one".

Pathetically, I like to "see" them realise that they are wrong about me. Proving that they are wrong is the best part.

Maybe this also have sth to do with "The Curse of Science 1 class"...

Time: 2006-06-19T17:26:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: ~Monday Posts , 2006 posts , Cringy Teenage Years , Old Blog , School: Form 6

First day in school f6

Posted in: ~Tuesday Posts | 2006 posts | Cringy Teenage Years | Old Blog | School: Form 6

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Originally posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 in my old blog
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nothing to do...

Obviously, our lessons haven't started yet.

It's kind of *hard*... I'm friend-less in my new school. But that's not the main problem. I can live alone. Well, I'm not used to the school yet.. There's many things I don't know & not sure... Asking will often lead to more questions.. (& I don't feel like talking to someone who seems doesn't want to talk with me).. If only there's someone I know from Lok Yuk there...(I know there are those who got SMKKL from Lok Yuk..)..

The situation is just like f4/f5... minus I don't *hate* everyone around me (yet) cos I don't know them... (But I don't plan to hate anyone this time.. I had enough in f4/f5. It would just make my life miserable...)

I saw our class's biology teacher today, though. (A male biology teacher!)
He said some of us *would have* to move to Art stream cos it would be a waste of time for those who gets C5,C6,D7 for their science subjects (ehem... where did I hear that b4? Ah! All Saints! So maybe this is that *experienced* teacher from All Saints!).. OK maybe C5 ones can still "hidup" (live).. but lower than that, "Please re-think!"..

ME: Ah. No, thank you.

I really need this "science stream." Even if I change my ambition (doctor), I still want it.

Are those non-straight-A's students not worth living in this world? Just because they (including me) didn't get the perfect A score, they are treated like someone who is guilty for something.. I really don't understand why.

But, what I can say now about this is: Those straight-A's students are created to fill the spaces available in this "common world". Non-straight-A's students don't have place in "common world". They create their own "common world" which will be filled (again) by those straight-A's students in the future. It's a cycle. So who's better?

I also got straight A's for my PMR, so you say "Look who's talking?" huh?

Most straight-A's (or straight-A-ish) students "can't think". They can't apply what they learn to real life. And their EQ stinks. (I don't like the sound of the 'other word' that you think is more suitable)

My definition of straight-A's students? Don't ask. You do the thinking.
oh ya. If you can't think that means you "can't think".

p/s: *spams* I like Physics but I had a bad history on Physics in f4/f5. Ironically, I hate my BIO & CHEM senseiS.. yet I got C5 for their subjects. I love Teacher Ooi as my Physics teacher. But, well... maybe I don't have chemistry with Physics... I have to forget about it...

Time: 2006-06-13T14:01:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: ~Tuesday Posts , 2006 posts , Cringy Teenage Years , Old Blog , School: Form 6

Random-ness.

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Originally posted on Friday, June 02, 2006 in my old blog
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Ahhh...finally...

# I hate to admit this, but I'm TRULY a computer addict. I just realised it. ~_^ hmm...

Living almost one week without the computer (ah~ craving for Kurosagi all the time....) made me so irritable & uneasy.

Anyway, I don't know what happened to the computer...but after an improper shutdown, the computer is stuck in 16 bit, 640x480 resolution, no sound & what's worst is: NO MOUSE POINTER. No mouse pointer. I repeat, no mouse pointer. *I CAN'T USE THE MOUSE!*

Good thing I know how to navigate using keyboard... Those "TAB", "SPACE BAR", "ALT", "CRTL", "ENTER" etc keys are very USEFUL! I managed to fix the resolution problem (Audio- no.), sent it to the technician, he FIXED the sounds...but STILL no mouse pointer! Once again, I googled for solutions. I searched using this keywords Download Mouse Driver, vmouse & found this (see the post by jack). Here's a copy of what he wrote:

I worked on a computer that had this simular problem. (windows 98) My mouse pointer would show in safe mode, with both a serial and a ps/2 style mouse.But when it came to normal mode, good bye mouse. I thought definitly driver conflict. Device manager quoted vmouse.vxd, code 8.But a little hard work and I discovered that the system.ini file could cause this problem. It has a number of boot settings within the file. But look for *displayfallback in the [boot] section, make sure it is set to 0 not 1. It should look like this *displayfallback=0. If there is any other displayfallback entries delete them. Make sure there is no other [boot] directories, other than the [boot.description] section, do not delete this entry. (also as a note make sure there is no text or code before the [boot] section, this could cause problems also.

What I did: I open system.ini using the RUN command in the START (just type system.ini), it appeared in notepad, & I checked... the value was correct (0) but then I realised there's some funny characters b4 the [boot] section. So I deleted it & saved the file, reboot the computer & TADA! The mouse pointer CAME BACK! Haha...That's a really simple solution!!

# Oh. Good. I almost forgot. After 9/10 years wanting & hoping (that) my parents would subscribe to ASTRO... They finally DID last Friday. (Thanks to AF4)
FINALLY.

WRONG TIMING.

This always happens to me.
Good things comes/happens when you don't want it anymore OR hope for it OR forgot about it. Really unfair. My siblings "enjoy life" more early than me. They own handphones at the age of 11. They can watch ASTRO at the age of 12. They can use the computer & internet at the age of 8. They got what they want at these ageS. I didn't get all this when I'm their age. Unfair.

I went through all the hardtimes, & they can just easily "enjoy their life" the rest of their life. Yeah...right..

Oh well. What's done is done.

Anyway, while the computer was "sick", I watched "Malcolm in the Middle" & "Passport to Japan almost everyday... And Monk. And Avatar (Love this!). NTV7. 8TV. But I still miss the computer.

# So it happened that I can't go the school of my choice for Form 6. Although I COULD go to matrics in Labuan (checked it already)... I'm staying here in Kota Kinabalu to pursue my studies in f6 in another school near my home...

So what if I can't get into All Saints... [the principle didn't "like" my science subjects grades (5-5-6 C) ~not her exact words~ "You can't succeed in F6 (..in our school..). You can't. You should just go to matrics. That will suit you better."; IN SHORT~ She's saying that I'm TOO STUPID for her school.]

A~ah~
People who call or treat me like a stupid person IS a STUPID PERSON.

So what if my new school is unpopular... So what & so what.

What I want & need now is a platform where I can be a f6 student & SIT for STPM exam next year.

# I read the first chapter of my BIO STPM reference book. Great. The information goes in smoothly into my head. Until I started thinking "What's this in Malay again?"

The thing is: Even if you had memorise everything while in f4/f5 (memorized 90% understood 10%) doesn't mean you can cope with Science & Maths (in English!) in f6 OR Matrics. Don't be TOO over-confident, my friends.

Okay. Maybe it REALLY depends on the person. Like what I saw in "Dragon Sakura/Zakura", those that have nothing in their head (bakaS), with the help from good (I mean it.), really GOOD teacher & teaching skills, these "empty heads" could be more successful than those A Cram-schooled students.

Some ppl will end up spending much time on "harmonizing" malay terms/facts with the english terms/facts they've just learnt.

Some ppl will live on by "eating their books."

And some ppl, after reading this post, don't agree with me, thus STUDY HARD to prove I'm wrong. I know who you are. (wow. I become your motivation to study?)

OK. Fine. Whatever.

I don't care.

I have to do things I don't like to be successful.
I'll do anything to win.
Even if I have to swindle
[I haven't watch Eps 7! & I don't mean this by cheating in exam!]

So what if I'm machiavellian-ish? I don't care.

My head is half-empty with corrupted data here and there.

# Currently most listened song: Yamapi's Daite Senorita (...daite daite daite senyorita...)
^_^

Time: 2006-06-02T15:32:00+08:00
Posted by RuYanda
Labels: ~Friday Posts , 2006 posts , Cringy Teenage Years , Family , Form 6 , Life , Me. , Old Blog , School

Fighting for Life

About Me

I'm predictably unpredictable, inconsistent, random & eccentric. Sometimes arrogant and silly. Always curious. Read that again without the snobbish tone.

「　Fighting For Life　」
Blogging since February 2005
RuYanda @ Ruth

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